GPK_Xiaosam

2009-06-10T22:30:00.001+08:00

new blog.

those-uncontrollablefeelings.blogspot.com

RELINK

2009-06-07T17:21:00.002+08:00

i miss my GIRLFRIEND!
you stupid ass i'm loving you more each day
you make me go wooo lalalaaa
i'm missing you damn badly luhh!!

it's been 2 days since i last saw you!!

u know what people i'm being a good girl.
i'm gonna listen to her i really am.
no more smoking at most one a day(:
no more weirdo friends!!

shili i am not mad neither am i siao.
i am just worried for you as a friend get that into your head!!
aubrey faster next month you're out.
i miss my BESTFRIEND!!

to dearest yvonne!!
my girlfriend didnt say anything about you so don't you ever say anything about her.
you know i love her alot!
so dont step on my tail or hers!!!

baby baby baby i miss you like fuck!!
wanna watch movie again

2009-06-02T18:21:00.002+08:00

well i'm surpose to be happy.
but why am i feeling that something went wrong now.
idk...i can't think.

havent been blogging cause lazy and wadever reasons idk either.
concert was a blast ytd
i had a SHOCKED out of my life.
but oh wells.
things changes.

faster july!!!
bestfriend aubrey is comming out(:
shili you're damn screwed!
claudia were the hell you die too!!
what's the problem with everyone this few days.

i'm stressed out not thinking right.
everythings so damn screwed up!!
i need a break i need some peace.

if you ever see me roaming the streets
you should know i'm gonna die(:

baby ily(:

2009-05-24T12:48:00.002+08:00

loving you is all i wanted
being in your arms made me feel loved by you
i treasure each time you were with me.
tell me i belong to you.
tell me i am yours alone.

i had a GREAT day ytd.
really enjoyed myself.
hahaaas.and you know what i am having muscle cramp now!!!
arghh!
i know you wanted to say something.but you aint telling me :/
i am bored now very bored!!
i cannot stand it.
later going back to hostel for family conference and i know i am gonna DIE so badly
cause daddy is going to be there and SCREAM at me!!
i know that for sure.
really hate my family!!!
they think they know what i am going through but the fact is that i had been growing up without them all this years of my life.
i had been living around the streets since they divorce,so don't tell me what to do.
I AM OLD ENOUGH!

yeah i might be childish in some ways but my mentality is better in a way i know what is life about (:

okay i'm gonna end here cause i really got nothing to say...

"i am loving you each time more and more.i promise to love you till the end and takecare of you to share your burdens and trouble to be the best girl you ever have"

2009-05-22T13:29:00.002+08:00

u know spammer are just cowards that don't there to face and tell other people up(:
so i think the spammer should be the growing up.

this few days havent been very happy.
looks are decieving!
i had been crying like for 3 days
):
whenever things seem to be going well for us.things have to happen this way.
i aint happy.

yi jia ren is all falling apart.
yonglin didi i am really sorry.
please forgive jie.

hmms.now in class nt surpose to use blog but who cares.

my feelings for you are getting stronger but you seem so far away for me to hold you thight in my arms.
people don't want us to be together
what is your decision going to be.
i can't do this alone.
i'm already very tired....

going back to hostle later...I AM SCARED!!

agrh!!!i am very tired!!!
i can't take it anymore i am going to burst very soon.
i want youuuuuuu!!!

2009-05-18T09:19:00.003+08:00

you know what.
what i told you ytd i wasnt lying to you.
everything meant from the bottom of my heart.
hope you like what u got today luv.
(:

i never thot loving you was so hard and tough.
but no matter wad i will still strive to get to that place.
that place that belongs to you.
i am like running a race
but not knowing what place i am in.
it seems so tired
but i kept on trying not giving up.
cause i belive one day i will touch your heart
and tell you to ur face
"I LOVE YOU"

jasper called me ytd.
hope she is fine.
what is over is over i don't wanna think about our past anymore.
don't make me upset again.
cause the wounds you had left are slowly healing.
all i know i wont love you anymore.
as someone has already taken that place deep in my heart(:
but whenever you need me for help at this point of time.
i'm just a phone call away you know that.
~~13 JUNE 2008---09 OCT 2008~~
not that girl you once knew and not the girl who u once love.

I LOVE YOU LUV.
you know that very well.
but it seems to be one sided.at times i really don't know what to do.
am i doing the right or wrong thing.
i feels so weird not knowing what you are thinking.

you blew me off my feet whenever you are near.
u touched my heart whenever i look at you.
each hug you gave it was memorable.
but having you makes me feel love
that uncontrollable love that is found again.
each time you worry me i don't mind.
i just want you to be safe and happy at all times.
(:

2009-05-17T18:09:00.004+08:00

love is selfish

love is blind.

i dunno why

and i dun care why

all i want is you to be there.

together or not together you will always be the one.

i wanna be the one.

the one who shares ur burdens

the one who share ur troubles.

the one who you will always look for whenever you need someone.

tell me you will

tell me i'm the one.

but i guess this is all a dream.

if nothing is said at all.

i'm waiting still waiting for that miricle to come.

everyone ask me if ayone or my ex ask me for patch what will i do?

i say NO I DONT WANT CAUSE I ONLY WANT YOU!!

but time is passing by so fast that things starts to fly away.

but my love for u is still standing strong and never to be blown or thrown away.

all i need left is your answer the is hidden within ur heart.

-SYYXH

2009-05-17T17:52:00.002+08:00

now at nic's house blogging.

well aint feeling that well due to alot of things in my mind now.

lots of questions left unanswered.

who are gonna answer my questions.

i'm having a terrible headache this few days and tmr have sch.

i am somehow discharge frm hoste already.

but you know what i still have to go back for training.

fri>>SOCCER 4.30pm-6pm

sat>>long run at mount faber in the morning.

i'm just gonna die doing all those things again.

okay lets blogg about ytd...

SATURDAY 1605091

it was joseph's birthday and yupp we went to sentosa.

met juvena and zhimin at serangoon mrt and headed off to vivo.

ate long johns and started walking around getting lost.

the guys came and we went to bought tickets to go insdide sentosa

people consisted of:

xiaosam,xiaojustin,joseph,juvena,zhimin,edmund,ah B,yong jun,jian rong(:

i was sitting under the hot sun tanning but u knw what i didnt become tann ):

but while taking photos of them there were too much things on my mind to be thinking of having fun with them.

so ended up baby sitting them as they were all younger then me.

after sentosa me,uvena,zhimin,justin and joseph went to hbc to eat kfc and i met sarah dolly and jasmine my qingaide.

i miss them lots but i'm not going back to hostel anymore.

justin and the rest saw some DIRTY THINGS.OMG!!

headed to bugis after that to buy stuff before heading back to kovan to meet bob awhile.

and i was kinda CRAZY cause i was playing KOF and thinking all the girls were those i hate n sch.and u know wad i killed THEM(:

went back home around 9 plus and yeah that was when my headache worsen.

something's wrong with luv and i am dead worried.

i feel so helpless that i cannot do anything.

i guess we are okay now, but i am missing her alot now.

she havent replied my sms,

waiting and still waiting(:

TODAY

went to kovan to buy sch shoes and cut hair.

GOD MY HAIR IS LIKE SHIT NOW!!

gonna hide from pple in sch...

met joseph at arcade play some games then ernest nic and pearlyn came to meet us.

eat at mac.

went to the playground like kids.

and now i am at nic's place soon i will be going back.

cause mumy wanna eat with me dinner.

i will be a good girl from now on.

and i am NOT a ahlian.

really very sad whenever luv thinks i am one.

oh well it's okay use to it already.

mood:confuzed!!:/

2009-05-15T11:28:00.003+08:00

i never knew i would love you so much.
you made me thought of you every second that goes by.
you didnt come today.
i am worried for you.not a single msg yet from you.are you okay luv.
haishh...hope you are alrights.

YOU ARE NO MISTAKE WHEN I CHOSE YOU!(:

ytd spended the whole day with nicolette and bob(:
as usual we had fun though it was quiet saddening for somethings life still have to go on for everyone.

to my lil brother JUSTIN:
didi life goes on no point hanging onto something which you know you cant keep.
yeah u love her alot.but if she wants to let go we as ur "family" cannot do anything to help u two.
me and howie felt sad to see you like that ytd.we very much wanna help but this is you two de relationship i know it's painful but you got to be strong lil one.
jiejie and the rest of the family will always be there for you(:

reached home at about 9pm like that bathe and talked on the phone to ernest awhile cause he was shagg abt some things(:
but cause i saw luv's msg i put down the phone:X
SORRY AHH ERNEST DA KORKOR!!
hahaas,u say you small but u know what you are still OLDER than me.
stupid bob and nic joke with me say what i like ernest WTH!!!
I DON'T(:

cause i love LUV(:

you are the one who makes me smile each day.
you're the one who gives me the meaning of living each day.
you are the reason that i am still holding onto this world.
you are the one that keeps me running.
cause you are the one who keep my heart beating.
i never thought i would have this feeling back again.
you're my world at this point of time.

i need you now.
i need your hugs.
this point i am breaking down.
i never going back.
i hate my life.
as tears flow down right now at this time.
as i think about it only you can make me alright.
but if anything happens to me.
luv don't wait for me.
i'm sorry.i just hope you will wait for me till the time is right.
but always remember.i love you.you're always in my heart.

I AM NOT GOING BACK STOP FORCING ME!!

2009-05-14T09:47:00.003+08:00

i just read her LJ :(
dunno who or wad's she talking about.i'll just pretend i dunno anything.
so now on the run.
i really dunno what's gonna happen to me.
i am seriously very scared of what going to happen.

ytd i had fun with nicolette and bob(:
damn funny!!all the ahmas sitting with us i even thot it was nicolette's ahma can :/
bob and i couldnt stop laughing
and wth they say i like monkey run out from the zoo...
and i was nice enough to tell the ahma byebye(:

so yeah i went home i think.
not surpose to say so much either.
luv was upset ytd :(
cheer up kaes.the LAST thing i wanna see is u being upset.
cause my heart will be in pain too.
i know you wanted to help.but if you can't it's okays.
i'll end here.i love luv.

2009-05-12T10:51:00.002+08:00

yeah i am blogging again in school(:
and M's class is next door dunno having some weird subject i dunno.
wells today i really honestly didnt want to come to school but i promised BOB!
see i keep to my promises(:
sorry luv some things i tell bob u cannot know(:
actually i didnt wanna talk to her but guess that i just missed her too much(:
hahaaas.
i'm kinda happy but sad at the same time.cause i will never have her no matter how much i want to.
let fate decideon what should happen.
wish upon the stars knowing that there isnt such a thing as wishing stars.
still thinking if i should transpher sch.
bob says no but that's only one person and my clique.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

you are my everyday daily drug.
i can stop smoking and everything just cause of you.
my NICOTINE LEVEL has dropped!
it's been 3 days since i last smoked.
it's been months since i PUNGUM!(i got to stop anyway before i go IN!!)
it's been months since i last fought with someone.
it's been 10 months since i had this feeling again.

but you know what i thing this additions i have wont stop unless something is done.
(:
seeing you makes me contented.
but knowing that you wont be mine makes me upset.
you wont know that lonely feeling(:
i hurt and go alone.
i miss you,i love you,i need you,i want you
this is all in my dreams and they wont come true(:

SAMANTHA'S GOING CRAZY!!

bob thanks for making me laugh!!!:D
u're a weird person but a fun one.
thanks luv for being in sch!

2009-05-11T15:13:00.002+08:00

i'm waiting for a miracle to happen.
to heal my broken heart and hurts away.
i didnt expect things to come to an end like this.
clear my mind clear those thots but safe those memories behind.
it might be painful and hurtful but i never want to forget them.

i lie on my bed thinking abt everything
thinking that you will just be a dream
but when i close my eyes everything felt so real.
when i opened them again it was just so painful that the numbness just came back.
the blood dripping the tears flowing.
who will ever understand those feelings within me
no one will know no one will understand.
i'll be living in my own world from now on.

you'll aways be that dearest luv i love.
but i have to leave now.
all i got to say sorry for everything.

2009-05-11T14:58:00.002+08:00

now i am in hostel blogging.cause school have some blogging thing to do(:
i came back damn early ytd due to emotion breakdown.
i was feeling so down.i think nic and pearlyn could see that i was going to cry.and i kept thinking about u the whole journey back home.
i felt bad really really bad.
u tagged me.i guess you had no idea what was i saying.it's okay.
i dun blame anyone.i asked my case worker just now if i could change school.and she was like "why!!i thought you were very happy in school??"
all i could say was "i was happy till now."
she: what happen again emotionally upset again?"
me: i dunno lahh everything is my fault i just feel so bad!

and guess what i stopped off walking away up to my room cried and fell asleep.
i tell you ever since jasper i didnt have this kind of feelings for someone eles.
what in the world is happening again.
i seriously feel like dying now!!

SAMANTHA YUKI YEO XIAN HUI WAKE UP!
STOP BEING SAD ALREADY WHAT'S THE POINT WHEN you are always the one being unwanted.
even if together you are the one always getting hurt not the other party.
:(
*i am talking to myself*A VERY DEPRESSED KID!*

tmr there's school i don't even wanna go but what choice do i have??
put up a fake smile for everyone to see :( >>>> :)
my heart is still bleeding and tears still fill my eyes.
why is it you luv why??

2009-05-10T16:43:00.003+08:00

ok luhh i dunno what has happened to u cause u aint replying me or answering me.

maybe what i said affected you somehow.

i am really sorry but i was thinking about alot of things after i left ytd.

maybe we should just cool off awhile

though it will be a hard and painful decision is either i have to do something or you.

maybe we arent fated at all.i treasure you alot but about u i really got no idea.

but i really hope that i hold a special place in your heart.

while typing this post i really feel like crying.

those tears you wont see those hurts you wont feel.i just want you to be happy my luv.

i'll never forget those memories those times we chatted.

and i will never forget you.that special place for you will always be in my heart.

maybe i had hurt you in the way i said but i really had doubts about alot of things and i have been feeling all so bad about everything.

you have been feeling confuze i know that you dont have to tell me,cause i know.

i dun wanna be another burden to ur troubles and thoughts.

but you know wad luv i will still be waiting.

like i said the journey will just be a painful and lonely one.

but i rather hurt alone.i dont want you to feel upset over everything.cause i'm not worth anything to you,

i'm already as glad that i know you and have yu in my heart.

there are so much more things i wanna tell you but i just dont know how to say it out.

not that i dont want to share i just really dunno how.

i'm sorry luv for everything especially for loving you.

i'll shall just end here for now.

i will be waiting still.hanging on till the day u appear to me again.

this will be my last words.

I LOVE YOU.

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

okay i am seriously going to cry real badly now the fountain is going to flow any minute.

i'm just so confuze right now not knowing what to do.

i'm leaving sch sooner or later if i cant take it.

sorry bob i really cant take it anymore.i'm really gonna break down at this moment of time.

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

IF LOVING YOU IS WRONG I RATHER BE WRONG....

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

THIS IS REAL

THIS IS ME.

IN THIS PLACE THAT I DON'T WANNA BE.

BE IN MY HEART THAT IS WHAT I ASK FOR.

BUT I KNOW I CAN'T HAVE YOU.

3 WORDS 8 LETTERS 1 MEANING

I LOVE YOU.

IN THE WORLD OF DARKNESS THAT IS WHERE I AM.

IF YOU CAN FIND ME THAT WILL BE A MIRACLE.

2009-05-10T15:42:00.002+08:00

i am at that CAL nicolette's house(:

ytd was with...had fun luhhs.but i was feeling very weird and bad cause it was like i dunno you know that weird feeling that u are inbetween so many pple:(

oh wells i have to overcome this obstacle no matter what.

just now was at sengkang went to eat pizza hut the to hougang mal to buy stud(:

yonglin still angry with me.the didi i dote the most havent talk to me for like 3 weeks already and i heard they had a new case not only him but my other lil brothers too!!

be good luhh you all only know how to tell me to be good then you all!!

haishh i dunno.

our yi jia ren getting bigger and bigger(:

so happy luhhs.

bob you are damn funny!

AND I AM NOT SCARY LUHH YOU TWO!!

hahaas,miss being with you all.

maybe i should give up on her and everything cause you know what i am very tired of people saying so many things and i am stressing out myself.

i dunno how to cheer her up feel so dumn and useless!!

but i do really love her somehow though we wont and never be together.

anyways i wish her all the best.

but you know wad i wanna die and just go to somewhere where no one can find me i am gonna emo in sch maybe i shall just stay where i should be.

sorry luv for loving you!

but i never regret everything(:

i am missing you now ):

2009-05-09T15:38:00.002+08:00

you know what luv.i am miss you(:
gonna see you later i think.
wonder what is gonna happen.it just feels so wrong all together.
i dont know what i am feeling.
it just feels so wrong that i have fallen for you.
IF LOVEING YOU IS SO DAMN WRONG!I RATHER BE WRONG!
those who hate me for saying this i got nothing to say to you all.
cause it's me not you.if you girls are not happy abt it i cant do anything either.
cause in the end all the answers and decision lies in her.
I DONT KNOW WHAT IN THE WORLD I AM THINKING!
argh!
you know what maybe quiting school is the best thing i should do sooner or later.
all this stuff is making me real upset i dun want any troubles from other small lil girls just because i love her now and i know we wont be together.
but i am not putting hopes to it cause i'm afraid of getting hurt again.

i am pissed off with that PAST BUTCH!
dont step on my tail again.i dun wanna hurt you physically just like before.otherwise you will start calling "daddy i kana wack!"

YOU KNOW WHAT!! NVM!!!
M FASTER END TUTION!!!
AND WHERE IS BOB!!!!SHE SURPOSE TO BE HERE!!(:

2009-05-08T11:52:00.002+08:00

nbpcb!
i hate spammers!!!not happy come out say luhhs why spam.only dogs will do that kind of thing.immature!!
anyways yeshhh i am ******** for her:)
but some things are just meant to be like that and i hate those who like her and keep staring at me and saying all sorts of stuff!!
those people who know it's urself and reading this get this into your head.so wad if i am talking to her or wadever!!
you got a problem say infront of my face lahh!!haiyo!!
I AM DAMN TIRED!
was talking on the phone with her till 1.45am!
she didnt come school felt it was my fault cause she was so tired and didnt come.
couldnt do my paper!so i left it there on the desk!

to YOU!!
hey luv it aint ur fault okays!nth to do with you.better rest more luhhs.remember what u promise ayes!
and thanks for the CHOCOLATES!i dun think i will eat it!
hahaaa.you are being miss!!
share share alot of stuff huhs.hahaas.had a great time talking to you(:
SAMANTHA YUKI YEO MISSES YOU PLENTY(:

ohh wells exams are over gonna flunk everything.this term is getting more stress not cause of studies but people and relationships.
i just feel like dying now!arghhh!!!
MOODLESS TODAY only some people know why(:

oh YAHHH!!
THANKS BOB FOR PASSING IT TO ME!YOU GAVE ME A SHOCK OUT OF MY LIFE I THOT SHE REALLY CAME.
but sadly she didnt.hahaas.
shall end here then(:

2009-04-02T19:37:00.001+08:00

nabei fucking dulan with that DOG!
finaly got extanted till sunday
I MISS THAILAND!
i want my PRETTY BOY!!
hahaas.
i got no mood to blog just that so many things have happen...

2009-04-02T19:27:00.001+08:00

THAT FUCKING VICENT GO HONGKAN LAH PAU CIBAI.
IRRITATE MY LIFE.
LIMBEI NV SAY ANYTHING U THIS DOG COME TALK TO ME.
PUA BAI!!
BUEY KE YAN UR TAICI LAHH CIBAI.

2009-03-14T16:20:00.002+08:00

everyone will never understand whats going on lahhs.
and i am HATING SCHOOL recently thanks to that BITCH
who thinks she's a great BUNG but she is so NOT.
u know who you are and get out of my sight.i really hate you alot.
maybe i was just blinded by you.
only jocleen knows lahh hahaas.
everyone in hostle clique is drifting apart oh wells i really cant do much anyway so yahhs.
hope things will come back to normal.
and JASPER;SHILI ya though i did quarrel with you ytd shouting at each other kaobei kaobu everywhere but still sorry lah and THANKS FOR THE SALTY FRIES!!i know you know i like salty things so yeahs.
if you are going to thailand yupp see who willl u end up with!
lols.and ya one MORE THING!thanks for doing my HOMEWORK!!
wakakas.
I LOVE YOU MANS.but still i had let go of it already.
LIM SHILI YOU ARE BETTER THEN NGWANLENG.
credits to you.
since the whole world know let them know i dun give a fucking damn abt it anymore.
i am gonna leave school again some how.
I CANT TAKE THE PREASURE!!!
maybe school is just not for me.
sorry peeps.

2009-02-14T18:45:00.002+08:00

i cannot stand it lorhh...
flashbacks are comming back!!
why must it be you you and just you!!!
fuck you understand u ruin my fucking life~~~
JASPER GERALD LIM SHAO BING~~~!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
yah it's over but what u did to me wont make up and u know i wont forget evenry fucking thing you did to me.
i wont get back at you cause i am not like you who use my weakness to make me fall.
i wont fail nor fall this time!!
haishh korkor go liaoss...miss korkor alot ):
later going back home le...
i miss the past.but WAIT no more GLUE SNIFFING for me it got to stop!
(:
i wanna go back to schoold real soon.though it will be really suxy but still.to make mummy happy and gain back daddy's trust again i will do everything and anything to get my family back to me again.
i will be good.and i must stay strong to pick myself up again.
i wont let everyone DWON again especally PAPA CHOO!!
he did so much for me yet i always keep disappointing him.
SAMANTHA MUST WORK HARD!!!
cause i want my freedom!!!
okays i admit i am bored!
but at least i got something to do larhs...
gotta stop that paikia life...like what papa choo said "CUT AWAY FRM ALL ANTI SOCIAL BEHAVIORS!!"
so ya guess wont be going out so often...being a good girl at home(:
p.s WEIKANG korkor RICHARD and PATRICK!!
go back boys home must be good kaes....xiaosam waiting for you all to come out every homeleave must wait for me too kaes.
and to my BESTFRIEND AUBREY KOH JIARONG!!!
yupp dun worry i will wait for you to come out in july!i fucking miss you to the MAX!!

2009-02-14T17:34:00.002+08:00

wells.now at bugis land sitting with XIAOLONGXIA!!!!!
and with claudia and meimei but they dunno run till where.
ohh ya...RICHARD and WEIKANG also here but that silly korkor so shy!!!
hahaas,still love him lahh...but he really very funny lorhh..
nvm lahh kinda fun somehow!!
HAPPY VALENTINES DAY PEOPLE!!!
this week in hostel not very good lahh but still survived(:
ohh ya shili if u not happy with me u can just tell me dunn need to say so many things behind(:
and ya ytd was the 13th but so....memories will be kept as memories(:
u will never be forgotten lahhs.
glad that mummy and didi are okay already.
now only left with chanel...dunno why she wanna care so much abt that problem.
but duhn create trouble everyone has enough le lahh...
i miss sandra and jerlin they all):
haishhh nvm tomorrow can see them again...
finally can go back home again..lols.sian lahhs.
nth to do oso....
everyday in hostel the same old thing over and over again...(:
nvm even though i dun really like that shili;jasper anymore.
happy valentines(:may u and gideon have chemistry one day...(:
see i am a NICE person(:

2009-02-08T17:12:00.000+08:00

TO DEAREST DIDI XIAOLONGXIA(:
please dun make me worry for u...
be smart in what you do(:
jie is always there for you!!

2009-02-06T13:02:00.002+08:00

wells...i really got nothing to say just that i'm super fucked up with everything now.
why must things always happen to us.
didi no matter what i am always with you.no matter how long you MIA jie will be waiting i am MIA-ING too.
I JUST NEED A BIG BREAK
everyone just leave me ALONE!!!

ahxia didi:
didi i really dunno what to say neither do i know what to do.i hate this feeling that everythings is happening like this.fucking stress and everything but what can we do....
we can't do anything but wait for time to take it's own place.
dun worry abt me...i'll be okay.at most go in or whatsoever shit lahh...
jie is with you!!
always remember that!!
YEOJIEDI PBT is always their no matter what.
you are not alone!!
always remember thats.

ag sisters psbt:
i really dunno if we are fine now but all i can say is sorry if u all dislike me or whatever.
just takecare of claudia for my didi's sake.i dun wish to see my didi upset or wadever.
i know sorry is not enough but that's all i can do and say.
but i really miss those sistership we had before.even though it's no longer the same as always i will never forget all the things we do together.

jasper:
if you're dad wanna sue me or whatever just do it okays.
in the end whose the one lying.please lahh talk the truth lah.that day i never even say i dun dare come back cause i scared mummy hit me or what can i having fever my mum ask peipei if i could stay at home one more day lahh.
and when didi marcus jio you one on one hello???
no such bloody thing can what's ur problem.
people dun wanna quarrel with you but you make people do this to be nasty to you after all you are my ex you think i wanna wack you or whatever shit...
i lun you for how long you also know lahh okay.ur MIA SIA so smelly who help you clear and all.
maybe i was blinded by the fact that you were already gone and become such a person!
anyway all the best to you.
you wanna continue play or do wad ever shit to me up to you i dun wann give a damn abt you.

to those who were with me:
thanks for all the suport...really thank you all but times are really fucked up and difficult now.so wont be contacting anyone anymore will be M.I.A-ing cause i dun find a need to contact others anymore.wanna be a good girl and accompany mummy at home plus now i am fucking SICK now having a fever and all.
takecare everyone(:

XIAOSAM HAS GROWN UP TO BE AHSAM!!!
lols

2009-01-31T16:23:00.002+08:00

just did up my blog again(:
though got jasper's photo we are already over.
hope we are still friends though.
now at lan with sarah dolly choo muimui;marcus xiaolongxia and claudia my er-zi.
later meeting gwen and gillian
school sucks lahh go back oso no use lahh dey!!
like dog lor i go back everything must follow.plus on school probation like shit lahh dey!!
haaas,anyway i MISS that special someone!!
tmr going back hostel already sian.
march will be going overseas to run!!
sian ji pua,and btw if u know who i am talking abt just see and keep quiet
hahaas,
i DON'T like people who peng ROTI PRATA lahh
nabei pua cibai u say they say me when i so ahhkaliao with them...
talk cork ahh you.
corkster!!see who will tio slap ahh.
poofs...no point saying you this kind of dog!!
anyways i am kinda shagg lahh got someone dun wanna reply me):
how HOW how!!!!!
i very sad sial he dun wanna reply me):
why always must be like this sial!!!!
I MISS LWS!!! you know who you are but u will never know my heart
i'm sorry i dunno why i fell for you.
never been feeling this way ever since JASPER left....
we met on 170109.
i miss that day with you boy.

2009-01-27T15:34:00.002+08:00

now at lan again,haas.
i miss YOU!!!
i think some people know who i am talking about.
hahas.i whole night thinking abt you.haish.
i really miss you alot.hope i can see you again.
u're someone special to me.

wells.got high this few days of chinese new year haas.
i love my two adorable didi yonglin and marcus.played pool with them ytd at ice pool(:
quarreled with shili.but i just want her to be happy.since we are no longer together,
don ahh don why u so stupid pungum again.
i wanna see you, so cute lor that day i saw you.
haishh dun worry will wait for you.
talked to taizi korkor and patrick that day on the phone so happy(:
updating friendster and blogging now.
i wanna put angkong later(:
hahas but dunno if the shop open..who cares luhh hors.
i love everyone luuh especially HIM!
even though he have a girlfriend no i will wait(:
it's a miracle i like him cause i hardly like pple.lols.
later going back hostel le sian.
haish tmr going to school.
pray hard i will past my exam(:

2009-01-19T14:14:00.002+08:00

haish...
now at hostle so many things happen.
i think my didi like my er-zii.
damn shagg cans...
i dun like people i dote on to like another person i dote on.
wahha...jasper become girl now got boyfriend sial...
haishh...i really dunno.
didi if you really mean what u mean i belive you if not dun talk crap with me.
hope things will turn back to normal soon.
tomorrow going to BEDOK HQ again with daddy to report.
next week got exam go school...
I'M GOING BACK TO SCHOOL SOON(:
see you all then.
but i under probation in school.
sad but nvm happy i can go back to study...

2009-01-10T17:12:00.002+08:00

now at lan.
hate this life alot.
dunno what on earth is going on.hostel life just suddenly make me so stress up that i dun even feel like myself anymore.
me and jasper is already over she wanna be a girl again no more butch.
i am just as sad to see us drift so far.
i thot we could get back guess i was wrong.life is just so selfish and unpreditablereally really hate it alot.
now single and it suxs.
i miss that LAST ROMANCE but it's never cmming back again.
i had change to become a better person.
now one by one is all leaving.
daddy is finally talking to me but still i really dunno what's the outcome.
i appeal to go back school but still under pending case.
haish.
LIM SHILI a.k.a JASPER.
you had move on so will i.
but please put on a smile seeing you everyday hurts me but i still endure it.
i dunno if i still love you i guess not as much as before.
i just wanna see you happy and not sad.
i will wait for you to talk to me when you are ready.
you takecare of urself cause i am no longer the girl who will always there to look out for you.
end of our story.
i am upset who's gonna make me happy.
maybe i shall just leave this world of my own to somewhere where no one can find me.
the real me is already dead whet u see now is just a illusion of me.
jasper is gone so am i.
i am no longer the same xiaosam people once knew.
no more gangster world anymore.

2008-12-25T18:18:00.000+08:00

FUCK IT I LOST MY PHONE!

wells dun call me anymore till i contact u all.
those who got my hse number good lor.
mia-ing for the time being.
who got spare phone lend me!!

2008-12-08T15:29:00.001+08:00

XIAO SCOPION!
i know you are jasper!!
i am waiting still waiting for you to come back.
though it's hard and painful i will still wait.
i dun care if i have to go in prison this time.
u finally know i can do so many unexpected things just to get you back.
i never regretted loving you boy.
thanks for the GREEN TEA that day
u ask me write to u every single day i have been writing to u(:
lovesss..

2008-11-16T16:57:00.000+08:00

BACK IN HOSTEL
BEING A PROBATIONER AGAIN
MY PARENTS HAD DISOWNED ME.
WONT BE OUT ANYMORE.
SND XIAOSAM PBT MIA-ING
JASPER IS IN HOSTEL TOO.
BUT WE ARE NO LONGER THE SAME AS THE PAST.
LET ME JUST FADE AWAY.

2008-10-30T14:32:00.002+08:00

yawn!finally blogging again.
not enough SLEEP!have been thoning this few days.
tuesday went drinking that stupid roy say go pub in the end cannot go in the father buy martel for us to drink(: haaas.
me and roy's face red sial.but we are not DRUNK!!
after that everyone left only left me and roy so went to kovan play pool.
met huiying at hongkong cafe leeling was working with vincent.
so roy invited 2 pple haoyi and another big person to thon at my place.stupid idiot never even ask me first lah then i was like nvm thens...
then huiying cameqlater abit leeling and vincent came over too.
alot of weird things happened but nvm settle liao.
stupid bertrand=.= hahaas.
next morning go vincent house then rest awhile again.then went back to my hse cause yonglin's stupid fucking fren lorenzo wanna dye his stupid hair which got NO STYLE omg i'm so mean cause i dun like him.
make me quarrel with yonglin until now.fuck it lah nabei pua cibai...
i love that didi alot can then wtf quarrel until like that.fuck shio.
no i mean UH UH SHIO...hahaas.leeling started it(:
so ytd only left me leeling and vincent at my hse.they now still sleeping sial.
hahaas.nvm.
got pictures taken but must wait for a long long time then i can use a com that can upload the pics(:
going back to bed!
and FYI i hate that FUCKING PUBOR.
u buey ke yan come lah no one fucking like u cans.wad de fuck.i sian ur bro sure bo?pls lahh shut the fuck up and ur bloody mouth.so buck tooth liao still wan kaobei wad?
fucking BITCH!

2008-10-28T01:46:00.003+08:00

today fucking suey and fucking angry
sorry for my bad language but i am seriously not in a good mood!!!
waited bloody long to go dwn to bishan.then the fucking place damn far.
then the fucking people dun wanna buy.
and my nicotine level was damn low.2 sticks today only lahh.and after work.rush all the way dwn to yijie's house to find that guy who was fucking seh!!
pun the stupid gum again.how many fucking times i tell him yet he dosent give a damn shit!!
and this time was fucking pekcek and not funny at all.
ask him wan go where everything dunno.he want buy cigg i tell him 212 he say dun wan.
then i ask him again wan go where he say bring me home so fine!!go home.i say take mrt he "ehhh dun wan heh heh" take bus "huhh why" then i say wad he want he say "walk home."
imagine i from kovan walk all the way back to serangoon all cause of him.
and i not fangxin to leave him alone walking ard the stupid streets at night.
so we walked and walked.suddenly he hold my hand shook it off but still grab back.
find he SEHKA let it be...and after that he became more and more fucking weird!!
dun wanna say anymore fucking sucks and he didnt even knw who he was imagine the hard time i was having when i was with him.
it's just a freaking NIGHTMARE TO ME!!!
imagine i never find him what will happen to him.die on the streets.
went home call jingping she didnt want to even hear me talk cause there were other pple on the phone talking to her fine!!!
anyway everyone has change somehow and i dun wanna give a FUCKING DAMN SHIT ANYMORE ABT EVERYTHING!!
I GIVE UP!!
i had enough!!sisters not like sisters anymore.brother being one sehka...didis all being wuliao not doing anything or some even wanting to rot their life away...parents dun even bother and mother feeling so terribly ill and sick and I DUN KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!
i rather just die and end everything now.i hate this FUCKING WORLD!!!
reach home thought could have some peace but in the end no!!!!
FUCK FUCK FUCK.wad's wrong with this world!!!

2008-10-27T01:41:00.002+08:00

ARGH I FUCKING ANGRY NOW WITH FABIAN LAU LI SHENG!!
it really suck and fuck to see u behaving this way.
stop being childish in that fucking mind and GROW UP!!
u think i like to niam u quarrel with u ahh.
fuck you understand!
u promise alvin and her not to pg in the fucking end still the same old fucking shit ass person
u dun hurt urself but u hurt and disappoint others.
get that into ur peanut brain...
I HATE TO ARGUE WITH YOU ALL THE TIME!!
_______________________________________________________________________________________

MARCUS DIDI(:
dun drink le lahh u kuku naden!!
hahaas,next time free go kallang meet u bahhs.
but no gelang pulease!!!
hahaas.miss you lahh but dun do stupid things can liao.
love you didi(:
_____________________________________________________________________________________

today went mummy to sgh cause she is so sick then went to church cause mummy ask me go find daddy.in the end he never talk to me.oh wells...daddy dosent care abt me anymore.
he drop me home and waited for mummy to come back so watched tv and stuff.
had a phonecall frm joleen ask if want to sell ice cream so met her at bishan at the same time i met joyce see at my hse here first then go buy cigg then headed to bishan.
took a bus there to the place then was paired up with this guy kinda nice and friendly lahh
but there was this grp of xiao ahbengs oso..got one quite cute hahaas.
after abt 10 end work...earn 10 bucks nia fuck!!
tmr still got sell...zzz=.=
during the whole thing fabian call me say yijie korkor wan see me cause miss me i was like ya right what fucking shit again.
i call korkor ask cause i belive him more then fabian then he say it was fabian who ask me go dwn de.
i had enough of his fucking nonsense today!!!
i am fucking dulan!
and now on msn QUARRELING AGAIN!!!!!

2008-10-25T23:00:00.002+08:00

our daughter say u still love me but u no choice but to hate me.
haish i really just want u back boy.
wad must i do to get u back again.
today went out with chanel..headed to kovan to meet YONGLIN and his fren(piggy_
went to bowl play drumx then play pool with them.
went koba to eat then walk alot today.
they guys went to xyz and we went to hougang mall.
bought my slippers and stud for me and yonglin oso.
i adore him so much.
argued with him and he finally meet me at hougang mall.walk with chanel up and dwn everywhere.saw jeffery oso.lol
then after a long walk chanel go libery borrow book.
me and yonglin sat and play hahaas.
i was looking through me and jasper's pictures and her ring on my finger and her jacket with me when suddenly my phone rand and guess who?
JASPER!
talked to her for a very short while i ask her for patch she dun wan.it tore my heart deeper.
lucky got didi with me to cheer me up.
i love him yes i do...
went back home heard mummy have to be hospitalized and daddy called
me and scolded me when i didnt do anything.
oh wells tmr going church at covenant so should be seeing jasper and the girls.
haish my heart is breaking and tearing apart.

2008-10-24T22:45:00.002+08:00

wad did i do today??
hmms...ohh ya me and that allen finally nth to do with each other.
not my type anyway.so sorry break ur heart.but u knew it was comming.
today went to dentel fucking pain my teeth now...
fuck bite thing like shit like that.
then rushed down to kovan meet yonglin and his 2 friends.
then we went mall to buy hollow pin and stud.
yeahhh pierce my lips again.hahaaas.pierce until the inside can see one ball ball.
hahas.STYLE bodohh.but pierce too up oso.nvm...
went to sengkang cause jingping help me yonglin and roy pierce(:
damn funny i pierce so many times le so let they two pierce first.hahaas.
should have tooken a picture...how yonglin kake his face hahaaas.
then roy dwn there scared scared shivering hahhaaaas.
i still can imagine and laught abt it hahahaaas (x
then me roy and yonglin headed go back kovan meet cozenne.
damn crazy lor we all.
ANIMAL FARM SHIO!!
dog=cozenne
duck=yonglin
pig=roy
golden retriver=me [fuck! just cause i got golden hair]
rabbit=jingping
hahaaas but fun lahh.then we go plcc the stupid xyz there.slack smoke then yonglin and roy go home le sad lehh.
then nvm...wait for jingping she call me tell me she saw fabian then i faster call him meet me at mac.
FUCK HIM LAHHS....do stupid thing infront of me again feel like slapping his face cans.
idiot!!!then nvm let him do what he want i dun wanna care anymore.
he die not my problem already...
brother ahh brother cheer up luhh dey!!!dun be hongster oso...=.= not good!!!!
went to play pool with jingping after that she came my house COOK.
had a big meal...wakakaaas.
then she left.that's my day for today.
tomorrown gonna meet sejia and chanel.but before that go kovan fetch yonglin together go hougang.hahaaas.
love that boy ya knw he's so sweet and guai at times.
imagine a didi give u this good night msg:

sorry i cannot talk anymore le
cause i today very de tired so good night
you sleep early early
muack love ya.

so sweet rights.
i didnt regret chossing this didi.
i love 3 didi's the most yonglin;marcus and xiaorong(:

2008-10-24T00:33:00.002+08:00

wakakas.
today went out with cozenne and areana(:
kinda good day(:
had some bit of fun...
i walk everywhere see alot of people keep saying hi...
and guess who i saw....
ALOYSIOUS(:
miss that fellow.it's been a long time since i saw him.more charming ayes(:
went play some weird games and pool.
went mac slack smoke.
then go mac below play cards(: waited for yonglin to come.
so long larhhs.
hahas.then he come dwn le we talk talk awhile jiu go home lerhs.then msg msg msg.bill gonna explode again(:
dun care anymore!!!!at most but prepaid lorhhh.
not like i dun have card...
love my two didi MARCUS AND YONGLIN.
ohh yahh saw yijie korkor and fabain.and another girl i think it's FABIAN'S BABY.
wadever shit larhhs dey.
hongster never die!!!na bei pua cibai!! =[
anyways i'm a good person

HAPPY BIRTHDAY JUNJIE a.k.a AHDI(:
one year older le learn to be more sensible.
zzz...have a great day and may ur wish come true.
takkaires have fun with the rest of the weird company...

2008-10-24T00:28:00.002+08:00

MARCUS;DIDI

cheer up mans.
u are a strong boy.dun cause of all this SHIT make u so unhappy.
not worth it.
be single the best(:
the YEOS must be happy.
never sad.
one sad ALL sad all suffer together(;
what are sisters and brothers for.
i dun wanna see you like that...that smile on ur face lightens my face you know.
it's sad to see my didi like that.
come on where's the YEO JIE DI PBT SPRIT??
wakakakaas.*smiles*
no one love you for who u are,
this jiejie loves u for who u are as my own lil brother(;
CHEERS!!!

2008-10-23T00:21:00.002+08:00

I AM...
-heartbroken
-hurt
-depressed
-numb
-shagg
-confuze
-full of hatred

i dun wanna be like this but what other choices can i make.
i dun wanna go back to hostel oso.
my wish didnt come through on my birthday but made me more upset.
i really just wanna end it all.
it's just hurting so badly.
why can't i just find a perfect guy for me to love.
i'm forcing myself to be happy.
hate life!!!

2008-10-22T00:09:00.002+08:00

THIS IS ME

Always been that kind of girl that hid my face
so afraid to tell the world of what i got to say
but i have this dream, right inside of me
i'm gonna let it show, it's time
to let you know, to let you know

[CHORUS]
this is real this is me
i'm exactly where i'm surpose to be now
gotta let the light shine on me
now i found, who i am
there's no way to hold it in
no more hiding who i wanna be
this is me

do you know what it's like to feel so in the dark
to dream about a life, where you're the shining star
even though it seems
that it's to far away
i've got to belive in myself,it's the only way

[CHORUS]

you're the voice i hear inside my head
the reason that i'm singing
i need to find you, i gotta find you
you're the missing piece i need the song inside on me
i need to find you

i gotta find you
[CHORUS]

JASPER this is real this is me
the one who loves you is me.

2008-10-21T23:36:00.002+08:00

I AM SICK.
having gastric ulcers ; fever ;vomiting.
i drank to much whiskey, due to stress i drink and became dunk and now like this.
why god dun wan me to die...?
there's no MEANING in life for me to live on.
i'm a girl that no one cares for.i'm wasnt surpose to live on this wolrd in the first place.
i'll stay strong till i really die.dun worry anymore.
_______________________________________________________________________________________

today went out to ag meet mummy grace tslk to her.
laopa today bad mood eunice they all come peipei ask us to go.
haish.nvm..
but while i was talking to mummy.jasper just came back from sch.
then she know i inside the medicle room with mummy then she act like she dunno i inside then she tell mummy at the door glass there not to tell me that she was there but too bad mummy told me.bleahsxx...
then 2nd time she came in ask for panadol dunno for what then i saw her peeping at me then i turn away i didnt want to see her afraid of crying when i do see her.
i was still wearing the ring.
i doubt she saw it.but it's okay she dosent care anyways.
3rd time she came in mummy ask her we still friends right she acted ya ya HI SISTER.
what's that for...i really dunno what to do abt you, it's so hard forgetting abt u.
and hello i didnt injured my hand cause of fighting.i didnt fight this time lahh.i just injured my arm.is that anything wrong with it?
jasper left and with a sigh...
elaine came in and hugged me.say she miss me and all i miss you too dear daughter.
then she say jasper say 2 pple reject her say me and brenda reject her.
HUH?!?!
hello when did i ever rejected you?u were the one who said u hated me and are not friends anymore.i really dunno what u are thinking.
and wads up with me making u and chanel quarrel. I SO DID NOT!!
it's ur attitude and acting big that chanel quarrel with you, got nothing to do with me.make the facts right before u point things at me.
_____________________________________________________________________________________

headed towards kovan to meet cozenne and yonglin.
played pool with yonglin.poor didi lost...sorry lahh i didnt mean to de lahh.i oso anyhow tyco play win de..where got so heng everytime one.
played pool abt an hour.
headed back to mac.yonglin suddenly so shagg i ask him wad happen he show me a msg that girl he wanted to jio...hiashh u can always find a better girl dear boy.
dun give up but dun be a hongster(:
he went to play bball after that so we walked over plcc to see them play bball.
smoke awhile then go home liaos.
and became high and crazy.
i'm INSANE due to too much STRESS...i just want you back.
JASPER LIM SHAO BING i will wait till the very end.
i wont give up.i dun care if u want to hate me to the core i will prove to you i love you more then anyone eles.
ahpa and mummy asked me and cozenne to go back ag stay.
no way...i want my freedom...
ohh yah i saw that CASSIDA that zarbohh.oh my she's so "CHIO" ke lan ahhs.
hehes.
i feel that me and jingping are drifting apart...i dunno i just got that feeling.
will sistership and brothership last??
and talking about that stoopid fabain surpose to meet then in the end dunno where he die to.
starting to dislike him as a brother.no meaning.
_____________________________________________________________________________________

i just wanna sleep and never wake up again.
to the world of my very own.
and when you are in my world i'll tell you "i still love you please come back."

2008-10-21T01:09:00.002+08:00

my secret has been let out from my heart already.
i know it's sudden.but it's been 2 years since that weird feeling has been there.
u wanted to know so now i tell you dun regret and die of a heart attack.
this is our SECRET.
but i'm sorry if it's sudden.
hmms...
today went to pl meet gwen then we headed down to kovan meet fabain and the rest but they had something to do and walked off.
zzz...feel so retarded go dwn they disappear...NO MEANING.
anyway,slack at mac awhile then waited for yonglin...
he bought for me NEXT CHILL hahaas.thanks ayes.love you lahh.
in the first place i had 12 ciggerettes then i today very generous...zzz =.=
give 2 to gwen 1 to fabain 1 to junjie 1 to weijie 1 to orki 1 to alvin.
i myself smoke 5 nia...zzz...
nvm is willing to give anyway got another packet hahaas
but i xin tia open somemore is didi (yonglin) buy for me de...
bored so went to 238 to find the guys.
sit there then after awhile they disapear again so alvin gwen yonglin his fren and 2 other pl girls and xinrong went to 212.
after that waited for alvin buy cigg then we went to play POOL!! (:
i love pool man i am INSANE.
i open table.hahaas.me gwen and yonglin kup together pay(:
alot of pple play lorhhs.
got 4 tables in total.quiet havoc yeahs.
xiaoben 1 table...alvin one table with junjie...fabian one table with another guy and then us(:
damn di siao siao lorhh.
laugh alot oso....lol.today we play very long lehh but pay only $8 plus nia.
not bad rights hahaas.
jingping friday wanna play pool again.wahahahaas.
lets go sister(:
went back to 212 slack and talk cork.
as usual i day dreaming abt jasper again and that cassida pubor(:
haishh i dunno lahhs.i very STRESS AND LUAN!!!
people love triangle mine is rectangle or square lorh got 4 pple involve.
sian lahh sial...
tmr going back ag visit mummy grace.then cause cozenne going mahhs then cindy they all oso want visit all go together lorhh.
i wanna see who is cassida. and i miss some girls there too.
jasper i do miss you but now i dunno how to show it to you.my life is numb and i got no more feelings i cant feel anything anymore.
not i dun love you i do but u are hurting me more with ur words and lies.
i just wanna be happy understand.
so wad i go out with my own friends and slack and do all that shit...u wont care either.
i'll aways remember those songs u always sang to me.

#1-my heart will go on
#2-suo yi
#3-feng
#4-ku cha

MY HEART WILL GO ON

every night in my dreams
i see you i feel you
that is how i know you go on
far across the distance and spaces between us
you have come to show u, go on
near, far, wherever you are
i belive that the heart does go on
once more
you open the door
and u here in my heart and my heart will go on and on.

love can touch us one time
and last for real life time
and if only goes in will gone
love was when i love you
one true time i hold you
in my life will always go on

near, far, wherever you are.
i belive that the heart does go on
once more
you open the door
and you're here in my heart and
my heart will go on and on

you're here there's nothing i fear
and i know that my heart will go on
will stay forever this way
you are save in my heart and
my heart will go on and on

____________________________________________________________________________________

i am still waiting...
like i said
MIA XIAOSAM PBT!! (:
never say die too fast.

2008-10-19T23:39:00.002+08:00

boyfriends girlfriends always come and goes.
it's hurting and painful.but we choose the life we want to lead it.
i chose this difficult path of waiting for jasper even though i know nth will be coming back again.
i cried today on my actual birthday just over some hurtful words she said to me on the phone.

#1-seeing ur friendster can tell that your heart is not with me anymore.
#2-nothing is going back anymore after that 2nd chance i gave us.
#3-i'm not worth of ur love

my answers to you:
#1-are u BLIND or wad?my friendster has u all over it.if i still dun love you why do i still keep our pictures everywhere; friendster; phone; wallet...
#2-wad do u mean u gave us it was ME who GAVE u that 2nd chance u asked for patched!
#3-i dun care what u say abt that.cause i didnt regret and wont.

from the beginning till the end i still loved you but what did i had in return...
all this i dun deserve.
it's hurtful whenever you become a total stranger to me.
everyone says you had change u can't even tell...u only flirt around with people now
you dun even dare to see me anymore.
u need pple to takkaire of u when u are afraid u get wacked?
i thought u very hiong in hostel now so scared.
stop putting that fake mask infront of that face.
i know the true you behind.you were'nt like this at all.
u wanna blame me blame me all you want.
why complain that i hang out with fabain and the rest is it wrong?
he's my brother!!!
nothting more nothing less.u were so argh!!i dunno how to descibe this beast i am looking at now.
u deserve all the scolding everyone scolded you.
i protected you from all that when i was still in hostel and together with you,
but now no more.
i wish you all the best in everything.but always remember there's always ONE IDIOT waiting for you that is SAMANTHA YUKI YEO...
you were the last...the best girlfreind i could have ever asked for.
but patrick was the best boyfriend i did have.
two differnt people with different feelings for me but all loved with one heart.
i wish upon this very day before the last few mins that my birthday is over
that everything could turn back to normal and i hope jasper would love me just as before as much as how i love her now.
*poof* this wish i hope it comes true...
but i never belived in happy endings.
make this wish proof me wrong.

2008-10-18T22:51:00.002+08:00

wells...
today celebrated my BIRTHDAY at kovan(:
waited for cozenne come my hse headed towards fabain house waited for him a very LONG time.but oh wells nvm.
i love my brother(: even though at times he's a pain in the neck.use to it liaos.kinda angry with him whole day my birthday celebration he whole time say me.
oh wells.headed to kovan went mac slack, eunice beelin and cindy came after awhile rachel and wan ling came too.
waited for YONGLIN to comes my most fav didi then slack.
then fabain meet yijie and left yonglin there __ idiot.
then i accompany him and we went to bowl to play games and pool.
had some issues there but nvm lahh
after all that went to mac to eat then fabain and company were all there.
zhiling called me wan meet so met her awhile...=.=
she dun wanna be at mac cause got fabian they all...zzz
no meaning.
then after eat go yijie hse there slack then ahjon can talk to fabian they all.
it was a fun day luhhs.i miss them and thanks everyone that wished me(:
love you all.
pple i saw today and with...
cozenne,fabain,eunice,yonglin,ahjon,cindy,beelin,xiaoben,star,xiaorong,xinrong,yijie,junjie,alvin,longjie
and blablabla...
hahaas.woots.
tmr going out with mummy and bro to kovan agin to eat at new york.meet cousin ricky working there.

2008-10-17T00:15:00.002+08:00

):
why is life so unfair to me...
what did i do to deserve all this hurt and pain?
JASPER...u dun like me say it to my face dun need shout so loud behind the background.
i dun need this kind of humji person who dun dare say infront of me.
i'm just waiting for u to come out to settle.
dun test my limits and dun step onto my tail...
life simply suxs and all.

today went out abt 2 plus go fabian hse there wait for him...
then he today abit tou nao pai....
but nvm lahh brother mahh...
then he keep asking can hug me...then i keep saying he crazy...
then i was thinking about the past of me and jasper.
then fabian keep asking me to stop thinking of her.
but i really CAN'T...it's not i dun want to but i really just cant do it.
we slack at his house dwnstairs for abt an hour then we headed of to kovan to meet the rest...
sit in bus he oso ask can hug me..zzz...
reach liao slack at mac saw adora joyce they all so sat there to chat and all.
jason and pikachu was at mac too...i saw them.
pikachu is cute man but nahh....
then i damn angry with fabian at that time.
he fucking hell went to PUN GUM.
damn pissed off cans.
then the whole day i moody cause of him.cannot stand him why must sniff the fucking glue?!?
nothing better to do arhh.
then go tell and lie to everyone i his girlfriend...what's that for.
u say i girl like not girl then what for all that cork??
dun need ur comments either...
dun make me hate you seriously...
then slack there for a very long time then went to prata shop meet junjie they all.
then everyone keep asking why my mouth so swollen...zzzz....
then nvm...headed to find xiaorong and his stead...
then slack at mac....
then alvin yijie they all went to coffeshop eat hokkien mee then junji keep asking me if i like fabian...
wad's that nonsense again...
F.Y.I
even if i like fabian we will never be together that i know from the very beginning.
we only can be brother and sister nothing more nothing less.
dun need to hurt my heart anymore, i had enough...
dun spoil my week...i think borthday i wont be in the mood oso...
after what jasper said to me my heart is shattered to pieces.
why jasper why?what did i do...u havent told me...
everyone said we were so loving then but now what??
i cannot take it anymore cans.
haishhhhhhhhhhhh.......
i just wanna FADE TO MY GRAVE.
nothing can make me happy ever again.just leave me alone.
i don't need anyone's sympaty....i will hang on till the day i decided to give up and hang there to kill myself.
penknifes wont be the last thing anymore...no more kick...even if penknifes work i make sure the next thing is cut my vien for me to die.
i wanna be emo till the very end.
seriously I DUN WANNA BE IN ANOTHER PAINFUL RELATIONSHIP
if none of you all can keep ur promises plese dun promise anything to me.
I HATE BUNGS NOW except my dumbdumb,they hurt me more then guys.
but GUYS are equally the same.
i just wanna be single now.
see this>>> LEAVE ME ALONE!LET ME EMO AND CRY MY EVERYTHING AWAY!!!

2008-10-16T00:12:00.002+08:00

hmms.why chanel today so weird??
she asked me 2 of questions.

#1- is there anything that u and jasper can be back together again?
#2- do you still love jasper?

answers to those questions:

#1- i dunno, it all depends on her. but i'm still waiting for a miricle.
#2- yes i still do. frm the bottom of my heart.

i promise what i say on my blog is true.
the grestest and bestest birthday give this year anyone can give me is
JASPER'S RETURN.
i know it's a big thing and impossible thing to get.
so i should just continue to dream in my own world.where no one can stop me from dreaming
heard u went to jio that CESSIDA ayes...
i really wanna see what she is like.she dare touch me i make sure she die.
cause i'm too friendly(:
my BILL BOMB to $123.06!!
i scared mummy dun wanna pay my bill for me.
helpp!!! i dun need preasents i need the most now is money.
i know i'm triftty and when i got money in spend it all up.
but what to do...i always see things that i like.
and i got a big appitide(:
thanks MEIPING JIEJIE for arranging for my birthday(: credits to you.
erms...sorry claudia i dun think i going for the anniversary of ag....
i dunno how to put it to u all.
i just dun wanna have anything to do with certain stuff at the moment.
i'm emotionally not stable to face certain things in life now.
i simply hate my life.
why do my parents give birth to me.when in the end of the day they are just throwing me out into the streets...ya i did choose that path but what can i do it's already done no turning back.
like you DADDY.
u remarried and there's no turning right same as me.so if u want things back to normal i am so sorry i cant grant you that, unless you tell me u can turn everything back to normal
which is just u samuel mummy and me. i hate things being so complicated.
i dun need to sets of mother and father.
there's no happiness in this life.
i do love my parents just that i dunno how to show or say it out.
i really dunno why i rebel so much either.
all i can say is sorry but i know it's not enough...
i just wanna go home.the real place i belong to.

EMO-ING LEAVE ME ALONE!
XIAOSAM need's peace.

2008-10-15T12:28:00.002+08:00

haishh...birthday comming in 4 DAYS time.
16 le wors...2 more years till i'm 18 can legelly buy cigg hahaas.
i left with 8 sticks now cans.so retarded...
yonglin still not okay -__-"
today shall EMO at home. kaaayaaakkk!!! screeeeeeechhhhhh!!
u pple wanna know something?
JASPER'S RING is still on my finger.
a depress person will only keep thinking, talking about the same person that she love.
haishhh i hate this feeling that is in me now.
just feel like giving up everything.
ehh...I ON THE RUN??
hello i from my father house run to mother hse got wrong ahh??
on the run...if i on the run why dun want catch me??
nanny nanny poopoo :p :x
hahahaas.

ok lahh that time the ranking thing was shit ass lahhs.
i bored that's why.
wanna know the real ones?
i tell u top 3...

#1- MARCUS AND YONGLIN
#2- FABIAN
#3- YIJIE

#1- JINGPING
#2- MEIPING
#3- COZENNE

happy now?actually dun even bother lahh i am INSANE!!
i am "NORMAL".
and my normal is always not normal...
it will only be nrmal back if eveything comes back to normal again.

2008-10-15T01:22:00.002+08:00

EMO-ING.....
-__-" POOF...
cannot stop thinking abt HER!
urgh! why? why? why?
it's so damn fucking HARD cans.
i seriously want you back lahhs, i'm going crazy if all this bull shit continues.
is it so damn bloodly hard to ask.
HELP ME.
i see that penknife on the table.
my hand reaches forward to grab it but something is pulling me back.
i can remember those time at HOSTEL when i quarrel with you.
each time i would cry all by myself dun want others to comfort me.
even if they did nothing could stop me from slashing that wrist of mine.
i will lock my room not letting u or anyone go in.
one slash is all i need.just to get that numb feeling in my senses.
seeing the blood flow down all the way till it drips on the floor.
that bloody scene can u still remember jasper?
and when u cared u did the same but in a different way.
looking at that wrist now reminds me about you.
cause all the deep cuts that can be seen on my wrist now was cause of you.
and on the wrist connected to my hand.
there ur name is in faded ink into my skin.
that name JASPER.i didnt regret putting it there.
on that leg 130608 was inked there.
all memories of you are still deep in my head in my thoughts....
when we ran away i was so happy to be with you outside i didnt even care if i had to go prison cause at that time u said you would wait for me.
but in the end it was all just a DREAM everything faded.
everything became cold and ruthless....a place of lies and darkness.
only you can brong back those memories and that smile back on that face of mine.
my face is totally GONE now it looks like a SWOLLEN PIG.
only you can bring back that face again...
i dun mind suffering all this just to get you back even if it's the last thing i gotta do before i leave...
i only LOVED 2 PPLE in my whole entire life...
PATRICK LAU WENG CHOI AND JASPER LIM SHAO BING
my 2 longest stead.
it was no mistake for us to be together.
though me and patrick were together for 10 months and a few weeks after patch those memories had been kept ever since(: i loved that boy dearly till today for the things he had done for me in the past.
as for me and jasper 3 mths plus isnt very short cause u are the 2nd longest.
you said u would be with me longer than me and patrick and u would prove to me but i guess u couldnt and didnt keep ur promises.
but i'm still waiting for u to be back again.
u were my everything baby.
but why did you have to do this to me.....

2008-10-15T00:11:00.002+08:00

YEAH...today kinda happy ayes(:
met my 2 didi i most dote and care for...MARCUS AND YONGLIN(:
hahaas,both wan emo emo wan...
haish...u 2 make me very dan xin you 2 lehhss...
nvms...marcus dun wan care me on9 le ayes...sad sial.
it is OKAYS!!!!
well..today went kovan cause meeting cozenne she FINALLY meet me after so damn fucking long
then went to buy ciggy(:
gave 2 to YONGLIN and 1 to MARCUS(:
see so good rights.lols...
then we slacked at macs awhile.
oh ya before i met cozenne i met jolyn yap and company.and guess what saw
MISS GUN my school's DM...
hahaas.i said hello.then miss gun was like no wonder you look so familar.of course
familar mahhs.i in sch every teacher "likes" me.hahaas,for all my "GOOD" deeds.
(: but i dun miss school lahhs.school SUX.
where was i now...ohh yahh...
slacked at mac with cozenne she ate mac.
then while smoking outside mac with marcus saw kienyong(:
then we headed towards bowl to ice pool.kienyong treat so play with him.
okay it's not treat just play but i didnt pay cause he wanted me to play with him so play lorh
in the end he admit defeat maybe today wasn't his day cause i am not a good pool player and i won him 4 rounds out of 5...
better luck next time friend(:
and after that played one round of DRUMS...
and as usual the last stage i try begin FAIL..
i am gonna train harder for that song(:
my mouth is still as sore.
hope it will recover by my birthday or even earlier.
cant stand it damn painful cans.
wanna die lorh.
okays tmr i shall go play bball at 247 again.long time nv play already(:
kinda miss those lil ones(:

2008-10-13T22:24:00.002+08:00

dear JASPER.
i really dunno what u are thinking.
u tell peixin u never talk to me already and yet u said u missed me and you told others that u dun wanna care about me anymore.
i am really confuze...do u still love me?
u said u cannot feel that my heart is with u anymore when the truth is that
i have always been and and still is.
i really dunno what to do about us.
it's like somehow deep insdie there is still us loving each other but at the same time we are hiding everything to ourselves.
darling i want u back.
anyone who read my blog and wanna tell my that stead now GO and tell.
i WONT hesitate to reply and say the truth.
cause in the first place it was a shocking thing when he out of no where ask me for stead when the day before he told me he liked another girl who is my fren.
i dun care.
I ONLY WANT 130608 BACK!!!!
my heart cries out for her each time i look at past photos of us being together.
it hurts when i see us parted so far apart.
i'm so sorry.

2008-10-13T22:16:00.002+08:00

MARCUS(:
didi..
jie still cares for you.maybe just that u dont see that.
i dun only care for yonglin only.
you are my greatest worry.
the way you behave is really worrying me alot.
but i know that you got ur reasons.
so i just hope that you know what you are doing.
like i said i will awyas be there to listen to you or talk to if u don't reject my
help.
hope you will be better alrights.
YEO JIE DI PBT.
always remember that.
that sentence is never complete without the DI in it(:
you got my back dear didi(:

2008-10-13T12:12:00.002+08:00

RANKING TIME(:

#1-YONGLIN(:
#2-MARCUS(:
#3-FABIAN(:
#4-YIJIE(:
#5-XIAORONG(:

#1-JINGPING(:
#2-MEIPING(:
#3-CLAUDIA(:
#4-ELAINE(:
#5-LEELING(:
#6-HUIYING(:
#7-PEILING
#8-CINDY(:

****JASPER

ayes...all the pple i treasure frm 1st to last(:
those pple not on it it's okays cause this are only top few(:
love them to the max man(:

2008-10-13T01:13:00.002+08:00

#1- I LOVE MY BROTHERS AND SISTERS
#2- I LOVE MY FAMILY
#3- I LOVE 527737
#4- I LOVE $$$$
#5- I LOVE SHOPPING
#6- I LOVE SMOKING
#7- I LOVE SLACKING
#8- I LOVE DRUMS
#9- I LOVE SPORTS
#10- I HATE MY LIFE

I JUST WANNA BE CAREFREE.
AND TO FABIAN AND THE REST OF THOSE IDIOTS
STOP GIVING OTHER GUYS MY NUMBER!
FUCKING HELL.

2008-10-11T17:00:00.002+08:00

the pain is worst each time i think of you.
why have you have to treat me like this..
i did i do wrong.

me: i dont want your sorry i just want you back.

jasper: fucki you la.u ask me call you then u hang up?you can forget about me calling you the next time.my friends did no wrong to you you better dont get into troulble with them bye.

jasnothings going back this time.you got ur freedom just go.dont call me le.i got nth to say to you just i am sorry...

me: what you want me to say you only care about ur friends.did you ever care abt how i felt when you treated me like that.why have you become like that.

me: so what if i get into trouble u dun even care anyway.u pple want me dead.i'll show u i will go...last long with brenda.my heart's still with you.i will never forget you.

jasper: your heart is not with me anymore.i can feel that.

me: then you tell me was ur heart ever with me?

jasper: i was twince but now no more.i have see through your heart.

me: you saw the heart outside not the inside.u know me the best how could you not tell.everything i said to pple was because pple told me what u said that hurt me deeply till today.everything was in anger and hurts.when you were not around i had to suffer so much out here.

me: do you really have to do this.dun you even feel a single thing at all?the true me is typing to you now.the one who didnt regret being with you.but you broke your promise.u left me first.

me: why must you hide form the truth? how long you want to aviod it.

no replies...
my heart's heavy with alot of burdens and fustrations in this life.
my bestfriend aubrey is going back to girls home too.
why must jasper treat me like this i always wonder.
it's hard to control my emotions and depression.
even though now i got stead it's hard for me to forget jasper.
it's gonna take a long long time.
and i dun even think me and allen can last from the very beginning with this kind of kuan i have.
he dosent know my heart like how jasper did.
i didnt regret being with jasper.
even though she kup my phone and did all this shit to me i still miss her.
i know i am being very stupid but the power of love is too strong to over come.
dear god bring me down to hell.
i belong down there.
to the world of darkness and pain.to make everything desaster and plain.
great games are comming .
i surrender.
may god bless everyone.
i will fade away to that place i belong to.
if you still care for me.why do this to me.

2008-10-11T00:42:00.002+08:00

MARCUS YEO!
wake up to ur senses...what's wrong with you.where is that cheerful didi i once had.
i am utterly dissapointed in you.
what happen to the YEO JIEDI PBT??
everythings going strangely with you.you dun seem to be happy, you dun seem to joke around anymore and you dun seem to CARE about others anymore.
where's that beloved didi i treasured and adored so damn bloody much.
and still can tell me i can find better gans then him.
wake up i dun care what happens to you.once my didi FOREVER my didi.

======================================================================

ALLEN DARLING(:
work hard ayes jia you.another 1 hour plus more then u off work liao then can go home rest.
dun think tmr can meet you...
sorry D....

====================================================================

JASPER.
about if it's true or not true about just making the rumours go away then u stead with brenda i really got nothing to say.
just that i always wonder what did i do to get all this shit from you.
if you had moved on.i shall move on to.
one day we will meet again.
but now i still hate you for everything you had done.

====================================================================

I AM SICK SICK SICK!!!

2008-10-10T22:42:00.002+08:00

GOODBYE JASPER ! (:
HELLO ALLEN (:

hahaas.
today i am crazy...
my throat is still killing me.
i got a new boyfriend. hahaas.
dunno if will last lehh.
somemore allen is shahui and germaine's ex..
:X
wells.i got the mixed feelings.
allen treat me very good.but i'm like only with him for 1 day...
tmr he want meet i dunno can meet...i very lazy to go out..
yonglin didi oso very cute ayes. "jie i want sleep liao good nights"
hhaaas.marcus like dun care dun care liao...haish.
people change very fast.just like jasper.
not i wanna say jasper but really what the fuck did i do to get all this fucking shit frm you?
tell me lahhs.
u want play paikia or wadever u know u will lose.
i heard you going girls home.
what happen to you this time?why u getting from bad to worst?
haish i really dunno how to help you this time already.
i hope nth happens to you.
today slacked at my house with allen and huiying after that allen send me to hougang before he go off for work cause i meeting shermaine jiejie at hougang with the girls frm ag(:
i miss you girls man..
some only!!!
elaine nu-er i heard wat joleen told me..
i will always be ur mummy dear girl.
who cares if your daddy wants another girl.u cant stop her oso.
just hack care her.
ur daddy isnt the same anymore she's not the same daddy u knew before.
so dearest children elaine and claudia know that fact.
but mummy still loves the both of you very much.
and mummy has a new boyfriend le(:
continue posting later bahhs.
i wanna watch tv... X)
i love my allen and brothers and sisters(:

2008-10-09T22:48:00.002+08:00

i am so SICK!
my throat got inflamation.and i am having a fever now.
and i got so many lanjiao taici..
what de hell cans. why dun dare find me urself ahh JASPER?
i thought you very daring wan?
i dun wanna play with lil kids okays.
all i see is you being childish.i had been with you for the past months and all combined in one word, CHILDISHNESS! grow up cans!
i called marcus and fabian tell them about it.
when that day that that stupid asshole come kio limbei i wont let anyone of you all off.
what i say i will do!
dun test my paitence JASPER,u should know me...ohh maybe not.we had all changed into another person ever since we broke up.
it's okays.i am happy abt it..
okay i dun wanna talk about this losers anymore...
====================================================================

met up with jingping and cindy at compass to fill up application form for job...
i need to work badly...feel very bad always taking money from my sick mother who needs the money.
after that went down to kovan...cause cindy went to meet ben..
and found out alot of...AHEM..
today went to play pool.we had a very hard time escaping from xiaoben cause he keep wanting us to follow them.
it was YI CONG'S birthday today...
HAPPY BIRTHDAY, BIRTHDAY BOY(:
even if i dun really know you just hope what you wish will come true ayes(:
and yahh hope that girl that u are going to jio will accept you(:
10 MORE DAYS TILL I AM SWEET SIXTEEN.
anyways no one will care luhhs.
every years the same...daddy's out of the country to work.
never abled to celebrate it with me.
and recently daddy doesnt want me anymore.
so i have nothing to be happy about this year again...
always a shagg time when i turn a year older...
and so many things are happening lately..
maybe it's really the end for me to live on this earth...scully my birthday will be my death date(: i will never know oso...
but maybe there's no point living oso luhhs.
i'll take one day at the time to live.
i have to look after mummy(:
and daddy but i guess daddy really disowned me that time cause i was with JASPER.
he said "i'll disown you now cause you are still with that butch in that butch relationship.this is not a rule or a treat but it's a MUST!"
the words are still kept in my head.all because of JASPER i lost my daddy....
you are so gonna get it.dun let me see you on the streets.
but if you want a challenge i'll accept the challenge from you.
i'm not as coward AS YOU!
i had grown over experiences and i wont be afraid this time.
cause I REALLY HATE YOU!
during pool yonglin came along(: my cute lil didi(:
then our last game like that marcus LANZER and his fren weibin came in to play bullet.
after pool went to jingping's house.
wasn't a very good scene but nvm...
sister take things one at a time.
FREEDOM COMES WITH TRUST.
yups.there's always NO MEANING in life but most of the time is NORMAL(:
headed back home and ended up having FEVER.
allen called me a couple of times to chat with me(:
he's a great guy luhhs.
(:

LOVES;
jingping;sister
marcus;didi
fabian;brother
yonglin;didi
meiping;jiejie
yijie;korkor
leeling;aiai
huiying;cutetie pie
cai;dumbdumb
allen(:
and lots more of my loved ones(:

2008-10-09T18:09:00.002+08:00

XIAOSAM HATES JASPER LIM SHAO BING TO THE CORE.

OR SHOULD I SAY NOT JASPER.

LIM SHILI X)!!!!

2008-10-09T17:59:00.002+08:00

JASPER LIM SHAO BING AND "HIS" GIRLFRIEND IS WANTED!!!

AYE JASPER LIM BEI BO KIAM MENG LAH HOR.
YOU WU JI U COME NIA WE WAIT FOR YOU TO REALLY ASK PPLE TO COME KIO US.
I MAKE SURE U REGRET AHH...
OHH LIYI'S FRIEND HELPING YOU??
WAHH I AM SO SCARED!!
SO NOT!
YOU LIKE TO BOMB THINGS HOR.
U SIAO WHERE WAN DUN EVEN HAVE.
BUEY XIA SUAY AHHS.
NO WONDER LAHH DUNNO HOW TO THINK OSO.
TELL WHOEVER WAN HELP YOU COME LORH.
WUJI COME NIA.
IF YOU BUEY XIA SUEY SOME LORH.
LIMBEI XIAOSAM WAIT FOR YOU.
KANINA.U THINK I CANNOT SURVIVE WITHOUT YOU?
GO HONG GAN LAH.
THIS TIME IS OSO NOT YOU BREAK WITH ME.
EVER SINCE THAT DAY I SILENT WITH YOU SO DUN THINK THAT YOU BROKE MY HEART
CAUSE I WAS THE ONE WHO BROKE UP WITH U...!
CONTINUE BEING A BUTCH CAUSE FROM THE BEGINNING YOU ARE SUCH A FAILURE.
YOU HEAR THATS.
ASK PPLE COME LORH...
YOU URSELF HAPPY OSO MAHH GOT NEW STEAD LIMBEI MORE HAPPY TO BECOME STRAIGHT AGAIN AHH.
YOU KAOBEI KAOBU SO MUCH FOR WHAT FUCK...?
U WANT FUCK GO LOR NO ONE STOPPING YOU.
GIAN BENG GIAN SAI...
U AHH THIS KIND OF HONGSTER.I WONDER WHICH GIRL OR BOY CAN TAHAN.
I NOW DUN WAN DIAM DAIM I BOMB EVERYTHING OUT.
SO NOT HAPPY COME FIND ME LIKE I SADI YOU WUJI YOU COME.
IF NOT GO HONG GAN...NO BALLS.
FUCK OFF AND DIE.
LIMBEI WAN GO YOUR SONGKA AHH...
CAN EAT KA LI QUEY.....

LIMBU XIAOSAM WAIT FOR YOU LAHH.

2008-10-09T00:36:00.002+08:00

wells.i'm blogging agains.
really very messed up with everything in my life,especially me and jasper's relationship.
if you know cant love me till the end dun be with me and promise so much.
it will only lead to more heart aches and pain.
i just want to have a proper conversation with youn and see you again.
it's that so much to ask from you.
what's wrong with you....stop hiding everything to urself cans.
you have always been like that.ever since the first day.
thinking about us makes me want to type out everything from the very beginning...
======================================================================

one day i came back from my homeleave back to hostel.
i heard there was this new girl...
and as usual being one of the longest stayed girl there i went to have a look who this nes girl was.
but before i even went to see her everyone came to me and told me that this new girl behaved talked and acted like a gangster and dunno play where one oso.
so i had a very bad impression of her.
so when i saw her that time i walked past her with my group of friends and said "ayes careful lehh pple gangster better dun be this kind of person"
i disturbed her everytime i see her.
we were enemies at that moment.we hated each other to the fucking core.
we couldn't stand seeing or being near each other.
we always went different ways to aviod each other.
as time went by i had a freash case...i was confined in hostel and i couldnt go home or even for timeout.i had no choice but to be locked up in hostel and the only thing that being confined can do is to watch tv...
so i went up to the tv room and there she was sitting right infront of the tv.
she was so distracting....i sat next to her and asked her to move away from me..
she didnt want to listen so i took her stuff BUNNY and threw it on the floor across the tv room.
i thought it was fun at first cause each time i threw it she made noice and went to pick it up again.as time went by we started talking being friends.
so yeah we became friends.we did talked and do some stuff together and all.
one day ag home had this upcomming concert and she was participating in dancing.
and the dance room was just next to my room and most of the time i would be outside there doing my things and writing letter or even drawing.
she sat outside with me and we started talking again...
and we found out we had the same korkor RANDOLPH.lols.
and we had alot of things in common..
and at that time she liked a girl in hostel called vanessa and i even helped her write her love letters to vanessa.hhas.
we became close friends after that we always hanged out tgt.
and after that ahpa had a church camp and she went for it.
and during that period....i started to miss her alot.i didnt know why.
i missed her presence around and noise.it was just so quite without her.
when she was back everyone was so happy...but i keep quite i didnt want pple to know that i missed her.
when she came back i bumped into her at the staircase she was looking for me the very first one and i ran away from her.
i went up to look for another friend she was sitting at the staircase she gave me a shock.and she asked me "why u avoiding me?you really dun want talk to me arh?" then i was like no arh.
and as usual pple mouth very big went to tell her when she was gone i missed her so damn bloody much...and she was so happy to hear that.
but i kept denying.
on 130608 that very day..it was going to be dinner time so i went up to meet the rest of my friends to ask them go dwn to eat.
my cutecute came to me passed me a bow.those kind of box that put nice things like earings and all.i opened it and there was a necklace in it.i asked whose one they said someone give me.
then after that i ask who they said it was shili.
i was like huh i cannot accept this what was all this about.
i went to find her in her room.she saw me and she ran to her room and locked herself insdie.
i didnt know what to do.finally she opened the room all of us went in.i told her i couldnt accept it but she didnt want to listen at all.
then meimei went to play with her by telling her that she(meimei) like me.shili was so hot and angry and said "if you want her you have to fight with me!" i was like laughing when it wasnt funny at all.only at that time i relized that she liked me too.
after thinking for the time being many pple told me to try to accept her.
but as for me i followed my heart cause i was waiting for patrick all that time for the past 10 months plus.
and now all this...so after thinking i went to her and said i accept you and the gift you wanted to give me.
so we started on that very day,i will never forget about it.
she named herself JASPER LIM SHAO BING.
she cutted her hair so short and got scolded in sch and even in hostel.
but she did her very best to changed into a butch because of me.
i was so touched by her.
she didnt care about what others said but she only cared was about me and her.
i had many happy memories with her.
when she was sicked or when she wasnt feeling so well i was there with her.
during sad moments she was there to make me happy.
she was my everything.
one day we were caught kissing in my room.she wanted to abscond and i promised i wont leave her alone so we ran away.
we were happy outside but we had the fear inside of us.
we were afriad to get caught.
in the end we surrendered before we get further punishments and even worst.
after that period we still spended time together but it was hard cause the staff didnt want to see us together but we stood strong.
until one day when i was preparing for homeleave.
jasper walked dwn with me to the reception melea shocked the both of us that i was going for extanded homeleave i was a great blow for both of us.
it was like the last goodbye.
tears filled our eyes when we said goodbye.
during that month jasper changed to a total stranger to me we broke up.
the next week she asked for patched and said cause she stilled loved me.
but to me it was already all fading away.
there was no difference.
but still i accepted her back thinking that she would change to become better
we had lots of fights and quarrel when we met
i couldnt take it anymore.
so this time i ended it.

that's our story...how it started and ended.
from being strangers and enemies to being friend to being more than friends to back to being strangers all over again.
love is unpreditable in our lives.
but there's nothing we can do.
after all this she had done i can still tell all of you that i still do love her.
i mean it form the bottom of my heart...../3

2008-10-08T18:00:00.003+08:00

THE PAST.PRESENT.WHAT ABOUT THE FUTURE???

that cute smile you had before...
to become that cold attitude you are showing to me now ):...

looking back to the very beginning when we started loving each other so deeply

where's the love now my dear "boy"...

i miss you do you know that

but i guess you don't even care now....

it's just feelis so empty now that you are gone.

i thought i found my everything with you.

but i guess i am so wrong.

waiting for the old you to come back again.

this I PROMISE.

when the OLD YOU is back i will accept you back.

2008-10-08T17:28:00.031+08:00

this are the photos that are recently taken just that i dun have the cable to upload so now at jingping's house doing all this.
really thanks this sister i have man.i wonder what will i do without all my close friends(:
thanks you all.it has been tough this few weeks cause my dad threw me out of the house.so i really have to look for a job before i really die out here.
everythings broken man.family relationships and all.

today went to meet hweexiong korkor at his place.ask me go play basketball dunno for what sial i so long never touch a basketball to play...zzz..

then after that went over to mac to meet marcus.we headed down to sengkang to meet his friend and i needed to go meet jingping.

so we waited for very long for his fren.

so i was bored we smoked and sat in the mrt there.and decided take some photos(:

hahaas,didi is so cute cans(:

i love my didi xiaolongxia(:

ohh yahhs talking abt didi i have a new one today(:

another cute boy(:

early in the morning jasper called me.kaobei kaobu at me for what sial.

like hello i just woke up and all your vulgarities just come out frm ur mouth like that..

you had changed alot.

and if you want people to FUCK off...dun ask fabian they all lah kaes.

they got nth to do with you.not like that they huan dio you right.

so you want to say them u say me first.

and kindly ask those friend of yours to FUCK OFF first before you ask my side to fuck off.

not i want to say you and ur that kind of friends but seriously get lost!

if you wanna find me only the old you can find me not this stranger i am looking and hearing at.

i do love you but u didi this to me so dun expect so much from me!!!!

get out of my head i tell you!

i got no choice otherwise i will be heading myself to self destruction.

but remember i am waiting for the old you back...

i love you still....

130608 everything started at there at AG HOME!

i still do love you 130608 ):

2008-10-07T23:10:00.002+08:00

haish.i am still thinking of you.
and i still do love you.
i head's in a mess.what am i gonna do.i cannot hide from you forever.
my feelings are still there.
but i am deciving and lying to myself that i dun love you anymore.
the more i hate you the more i hate myself and wanna go away.

is it really the presence of me being with you then u will love me just like before.
why must pple always go for looks and all.
what's the problem?is it so hard to love someone for who they just really are.
if you really love that person the person with you or even not around you should still continue to love her in your heart.
i hate people giving all this excuses...

I'M JUST SO LOST WITHOUT YOU
HOW AM I GONNA BE STRONG WITHOUT YOU
I NEED YOU BY MY SIDE.
LOST WITHOUT YOU.

everything just fades away.
you said one day there will be a place for just the both of us.
but it just vanished.
you are not being strong in your words
you just said that for the sake of saying cause i was ur girlfriend.
but what about now.u don't even give a damn about everything anymore.
one by one of me and my brothers and sisters all all depressed over relationship.
hate seeing myself and them so shagg.

WO ZHI HAO BA WO XIANG SUO DE HUA DOU FANG ZAI XIN LI
YING WEI WO ZHI XIANG YAO NI KAI XIN

i can only keep you in my heart now.
when i see you with others or even know you liked others already i can only say i still love you and i will be waiting for the OLD you to be back.
i just want both of us to be happy.
i'm keeping you silently in my heart.
from the outside it might seems i dun care anymore.
but right in the inside it just hurts so much until it's so numb i can't feel a thing
reading all your letters and comments made me shed so much tears.
thinking if they were true when u wrote them to me.
everythings gone.
i have no one eles.even my loving father has left me cause i chose to be with you.
but should i start acting like you I WANT MY DADDY....
no i wont...i follow what my hearts desires.
i still love you understand.

====================================================================

wells.today went to meet jingping.met meiping and slacked at her house and watched a show(:
after that i went home.
helped MARCUS DIDI....with something stupid he did.
gei ba lan!!!
next time dun help you then you know ahhs.
and FOR GOODNESS SAKE.
you PROMISE NOT TO DO THAT THING AGAIN.
u better keep your promise or i will disown you.
the same goes to all my gans who do the things that are not right.
MARCUS you owe me big time yeahs(:
but it's okays i forgive you this time but dun push ur luck the next time.
i wont care if you are the didi i dote the most and the cutest(:
YEO JIE DI PBT(:
XIAOSAM AND XIAOLONGXIA BSPBT 184!!(:
i love youuus didi!!!
lols.
now abot worried for fabian.
haish.wonder what happen to him again.xiaorong say he sadsad...
haish...brother ahh brother....what's wrong with you again.
tmr havent decided if i wan to go out.
i contacted daddy already he ask me to change my friends and my smoking habits and all.
i can stop my smoking but what's up with my friends they never do you any wrong.
you can shout at me for anything.but not my friends.
you want me to stop my relationship with JASPER.and it's already so broken...
aren't u happy already DADDY.
i am already HURTING so badly do i have to sacrifice more then this.
i really dun have the mood to cheer up and all.
i might be happy outside but it's like shit inside.
might be going for job interview at popular then can do with cindy(:
hahaas.can work with each other(:
hope can get the job first lorh.

MY GREATEST WISH NOW IS
TO GET THE OLD JASPER BACK!
130607

i thought you really loved me.
you said i was that girl you always wanted.
yos said i was the perfect girl for you
i had so much to expect from this relationship
but i was wrong.
you fell out of my head
you fell out of my heart
you will be sorry i am not around.
i will watch you out.
u fell out of your mind.
think of me.
i will be at the top just watching you fall.
but my heart falls with you and dies there.

baby i just wanted you in my life
i wanted to get to know you
so come on let me be the one to
make eveything alright
i wish i could be your everything
baby wont' you be my boy.
boy u gotta love me
you gotta understand
the only one i need i just wanna be your girl
i wanna hold you close.

i have been blogging very long this few times.cause my heart aches.

2008-10-07T00:27:00.002+08:00

my heart is taking things one thing at the time.
though i am really hurting badly now no one can tell it's the matters of the heart.
if loving someone is wrong i rather be wrong.
i still miss and love her.
but everything is not the same anymore.
today was the so called last time i met up with yijie kor xiaorong didi they all.
cause i wanna go to a far away place to be alone.
some long messagers to some pple(:

JINGPING(:
sister dunch sad already.one day we will find our mr right.we just have to wait for the right time to come.it might not be now but in the future we may never know.sometimes there is just NO MEANING but it's okays cause it's NORMAL(:

FABIAN(:
brother ar brother.i know you still love her alot.well it takes time to heal that broken heart but stop just thinking about kcuf...u crazy ahh...change ur attitude and character mans.and more people will love you i'm sure of that yeah...and i tell you one more time dun think i am ur SISTER i will and can tolerate all ur rubbish all the time!!!

YI JIE(:
korkor dunch sad ler alrights...like what i told you i wanna see that happy korkor i always see at kovan or wherever.sad sad not handsome le...meimei dun like see you like that yahhs.you are a great guy it just takes time to find that mrs right to come by...(:

SHANCAI(:
takkaires in australia...will miss your noise and rubbish.but stop thinking i miss you cause i only miss you as a fren...ayes i know what in that idiot mind u have okays.hahaas.
i will see u in 1 MONTH'S TIME(:

CINDY(ben gf) (:
girl dunch sad le...maybe he got his reasons bahhs.ben is a good guy luhhs really i know him longer then u and jingping so yeah...even though at times he might be like a jerk but it's cause he cares for you...better then my stead(: cheers man(:

JASPER(:
boy settle your feelings first before saying u want to be with me till the end if you cannot do what u promise then dun promise me in the first place.that's what you told me.i bet you had forgotten everything you said to me before.but stop being selfish and only think about urself.u tell jingmei wad u helping me and I getting u into trouble.u sure bo or u lying again.limbei get u into trouble u sure mah.u are the one who ask me what happen i tell u u say u know them de lehh no one ask u to come into the problem they looking for me oso not you.then now what u want.i really dunno what's in that head of urs man.dear boy u really became a total stranger to me.

TO THAT FUCKING JERK (:
stop finding me trouble cause of jasper...u like her si bo go stead with her lahh.her feelings for me oso fade liao.no point find me.u want me to si i make sure u si first before i si(: i very friendly wan.u want play i play with you.better make it fun.and what the fuck u wan me to break with her for.nbpcb u not happy u wu ji come find me lahhs.dun need every single fucking day use private number call me kaobei kaobu.like dog sial you u think u wad sial.u hunji then dun waste my bloody time.no time to entertain small dogs like you...

OK!
i am done sending long messages to people.
hahas,all my heart feelings out.but i am still upset luhhs ):
takes time bahhs.
hope that things will go back the way it was.

2008-10-06T00:54:00.002+08:00

wells.today was slighty better then yesturday.
but still feeling weird talking to marcus.yeah it was a normal talk but still wad had happen is still in my head.
and my feelings for JASPER is getting stronger i dunno why.get me out of this pain.the more i try to hate her to get her out of my head the more and stronger i love her.
i'm stuck with her in my mind.why is it you.why?wad did i do to deserve this from you?
tears flow down my eyes each time u appear infront of my eyes.i see u when i sleep i see u when i close my eyes.i see you in my mind.
each time i think of you i think of those happy times i had with u but at the same time the times u treated me like shit appear infront of me.
why jasper why.tell me why you?
if u can't promise me dun promise me you will be with me till the end of our lives.i sacrificed so much to be with you but in the end i became being the fool and you laughing at me.
i tried to be happy without you the the fact is I JUST CAN'T.
my heart still cries out for you the OLD you to be back.not the stranger who is infront of me now.if i had one wish i wish i was never born into this world.
then there will be no feelings to kill me.
JASPER I LOVE YOU BUT U HAD CHANGE TO A TOTAL STRANGER TO ME.
haishhh...i hate feelings i just want to be numb...
today met beelin;cindy;eunice and ahjon.
went to kovan to play arcade and pool.i lost to ahjon....just that black ball..argh!but nvm lahh hahas.had fun though that smile outside was so deciving.
met up with brother fabian.hahaas.heard things that i wasn't really please with.kinda angry still.but since alvin say dun scold them liao then sua lors.
haishh hope that wont happen again.or i wont let them off the next time.
marcus got stead le.last long yeah.even though it was fast but yeah.it's still hard for me to call u didi again after all that happen maybe it's really time to lag off awhile and not meet for this time being.
i will still be blogging somehow but i am going to MIA.only gonna contact my close sisters and one and only brother(:
jasper if u are not happy with me or anyone eles who is close to me u come and talk to me.i always wanted to talk to u properly but u always start to quarrel and fight with me.there's no need for all this.things can be settled properly if u want it to be done nicely.if both dun give in there will be no problem solve.
though now we are parted my heart still longs for the old you to be back.
i will be waiting for that day to accept you back again the true you in the inside.the one who never let go of me in the beginning.
and marcus...u will always be my didi in my heart and outside.
i'm gonna let time heal me for this past few days or even weeks or even months.
everything has changed and so did i.
but the heart will always remain the same.
the scars on that heart will never be healed so does the scars on that wrist of mine when i shed my blood for you.
the biggest and deepest cut on that wrist was so deep just as how deep my love for you
was when i was with you and i still do love you as before.just that the feeling has stopped due to what is happening to the both of us.
jasper i hope u will call me asap.i really need a word with you.
and for the rest msg me if u need i wont be answering calls for the time being only those who are close to me.

this time for real.
MIA XIAOSAM WANTS TO GO SOMEWHERE FAR AWAY.......

2008-10-05T10:44:00.002+08:00

haish.so many unhappy things happen to me this past few days.
i kinda broke up with jasper cause it was really too much things i am hearing about her.and it was true in a way somehow.that's why i had been telling her patch dun patch what's the difference...
i rather move on and hurt now than hurt later.
i still do love her but i guess she doesnt know that cause all this while she has been treating me like shit!
now i really regret tell marcus that things.
he's not talking or replying to me...
he said to joleen to tell me this.
TELL HER NOT TO WORRY FOR ME.IF GOT THING TELL HIM TELL HER TO PASS TO HIM THE MSG...HE DUNNO HOW TO FACE HER NOW SO GIVE ME SOME TIME.
i'm sorry dear boy...
yeah i might had shocked u that moment but i really dunno why too...
dun avoid me le can...haishh...
time will take everything to heal but it will be a very long process...
it really hurts alot.i just cannot express that feeling now.it's just so numb i can hardly feel anything within...
TO JASPER:
i didnt want things to happen this way but u made it no choice for me.
it's painful to leave you but it will be more painful if u continue being this and it will be even worst if i pretend nth happen to us.
maybe this is fate that we had to go seperate ways.maybe this is our calling.it's hard to see you go so far but i have no other choice.i hope you will be more happy without me and i am sure you will.i'm sorry i left u there in the first place but it was not my decision.
now u should be happy that u are free.u can always side ur frens to come and create troubles in my life.but no matter what u did to me it will always be remained always in my memories.we had good times and bad times but they were the most treasured memories ever.i didnt regret chosing you.but i hope u will really find that person who will love u as much as i did.thanks for everything u did for me in the past 3 and a half months.but it's over and i got to say goodbye my love.i'll still be there if u need me.i'll be there waiting for the old u to take my heart to yours again.takecare jasper.thanks for those memories.
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- ):

marcus ar marcus dun like that le lahhs.
zzz...very xinku like that lehh.
i miss you being around making me happy and cheering me up when i quarrel with jasper.
i miss talking to you on the phone during nights.
even though u are younger that me i really dunno why i had this weird feeling.
i know it will never be but what's all this now.
it's like you're gone so far.
leaving me behind.
i kept asking you did u miss me u said yeah and i said u were lying but u said if u were lying it was a no...
we knew each other for a few days but it seems to me like we knew each other for long.
i just hope everything could go back to what it was before.
i'm so sorry boy...
-----------------------------------------

things in life dun get my way.and in the end i only hurt myself.
maybe i really do deserve all this.
mixed feelings all around me.
i still love jasper but why suddenly everythings just seems to fade away so quickly.
jasper just became a stranger to me again....
the heart aches and will never be the same again.
it might be alright one day but the scars will always remain in there.
we started of from being strangers to being friends than being more then friends and back to being strangers again.why must this happen to us??
130608 was the day i acceptted you even though i didnt like the way u were but i loved you for who u are.
140908 u broke up with me for no right or reason and left me back into the darkness.
210908 u wanted to patched back i gave you a second chance but it became even worst and more painful.u didnt even give a bloody damn about me at all.
041008 i had to end it before i really do something to hurt me even deeper.even though until now i still love you u lead me no other choices.
from the beginnig till the end everything u wanted u had it.
start oso u start..break oso u break..patch oso u patch.
but this final decision belongs to me before u hurt me further.
........................................................................................................................

love is a powerful word dun use it if u know it won't last.
u made my feelings fade and liked someone eles.
but no matter who i like it will never replace that scar u had left on the day u 1st broke up with me 140908 after that day my heart slowly faded away for u.i couldnt even recongise that face of your.that heart became black and cold.
so i had to leave you.and put someone eles in my heart to make me happy.
like how u put WEIZHONG in ur heart but didnt tell me.
if u read this post all i can say i hope we are still friends.but if u say we are not.
u are still as childish as ever....grow up.

2008-10-03T12:36:00.001+08:00

i got kicked out of home!
everyone happy now that i fall!
leave me alone to just die.
i'm nobody's child anyway.
i'm useless and hopeless.
only am idiot!
and i am a hopeless girlfriend cause my girlfriend is like a total stranger to me now!

2008-09-29T20:32:00.003+08:00

today stead at home...xD
didnt go out for afew days already.
feeling weird not seeing fabian ard ):
and for everyone's info! i dun like him!
only BROTHER!understand!
hahaas.
went back to ag today.went to singapore sports school.
haish.even if that was my dream school i think i would die in there.
i cannot imagine me in that school...
anyways.i have percussion again...on the 2nd and 3rd i have to go back.
BURN AGAIN!but sacrifices to my freedom..hahaas.rubbish!
nvm lahh.
go out on saturday lorhhs
tmr going out to see basketball match with devi...singapore vs phllipines i think...
nvms...
pack some stuff at ag just now spended some time with DARLINK but in the end wad's the use lahh....so guailan!!
argh!
cannot tahan her at times.so humji!
nvms...i still love her the way she is(:
dunno what happen to fabian agian...quarrel argue again as always.
dunno whats his problem cans!!
angry with him now lahh spoil my mood!
nvms...mia a few days frm him.but i think i can't ): confirm miss him de lorh..
brother sister for so LONG liao hard to stay away somehow ayes.
takes time to cool down!
but today from what i saw darling changed alot....haish...

14 DAYS TO 4 MONTHS!!!(:

2008-09-25T20:53:00.010+08:00

i miss you darling(:

pictures taken by joleen mei(:

wells..today i STAYED AT HOME!

so irritating cans!

fabian still upset with his ex...haish i really dunno what to do abt him.

feel so upset see him in this state ):

BROTHER cheer up luhhs.

even though you made me fucking angry just now i will always be there for you still!

4 years brother and sister and still counting on(:

yijie korkor sorry i fa pi qi on you....not on purpose de.

xiaorong didi u oso dun say until like that lahh didnt expect it will be you...

dunno if disappointed or what with them...

oh wells who cares luhh...

joleen meimei went back today take pic of baby for me to see...

i really miss my dearest alot

hasihhh...fatser come out then can be with me le...

i see pple with their stead i miss u fucking damn much...

nevermind i will WAIT!

seriously i miss brother fabian alot.

hope he is okays,i didnt mean to scold him luhhs but love cannot be force...

u guys takkaires of ur injuries(:

THOSE I TREASURE MOST

DARLING

Fabian

YiJie

Xiaorong

Jingping

MeiPing

Leeling

Huiying

Peiling

Claudia

the rest of my gans i love them too luhhs but not as much as them.ps(:

2008-09-24T22:14:00.002+08:00

wells.
i haven't been blogging for a long time(:
com crash so daddy went to get the new one today...
well...ytd went for training with the ag girls and went to kovan meet fabian;xiao alvin and yijie korkor(:
slack there waited for zhenkang his stead and weijie they all come dwn slack tgt.
saw leeling they all too(:
met xueqi for awhile and yupp....
TODAY!
went dwn to me and fabian hse there kopitiam there to slack waited for gwen meimei to come dwn after that me and fabian went home awhile went home to eat!!
lols....after eat went to meet him again at his house.
i wear all black then he oso wear all black!think wad couple wear ahh!!
then went dwn 238 wait for didi they all finish sch then meet us(:
met a new xiao didi marcus.hahas,quite cute ayes...
went to mac frm 1 to 5 we were sitting rotting ur butts there smoking and all...
yijie and alvin came dwn after that(:
met up with a few ex sch mates from pl(:
heard that TESS LAM tio slap by gillian!
GILLIAN WHY BO JIO!
hahaaas.i dun like her too anyways.
after that went plcc to see them play pool.
saw hweexiong korkor there so long never see him liao.still as grumpy as ever-_-"
nvm...
after that pei fabian go 212 eat...saw renyi and jerry...
eat liao me and fabian go home together(:
both our parents kaobei us man!but nvm luhhs.
anyways beelin my kk court on friday wish her all the best ): kk i miss you!
patricia's court comming soon too(:
saturday might be going for JOB INTERVIEW with jingping,cindy jiejie and eunice jiejie at kovan(:
and i can tell u one thing....

I MISS JASPER ALOT!!!!!!
ahhhhh!!

anyway another thing i love my brother fabian lots too(:
brother sister till the end(:
always there for me(:
hahaas....

2008-09-22T01:21:00.001+08:00

I MISS YOU BABY!

130608

the journey of our lives(:

i promise never to let go.

i love you more then anyone eles in the world.

i dun care what others say about us being together.

kindly FUCK off if you not happy.

especially 242635!!!

2008-09-21T19:29:00.012+08:00

I LOVE YOU JASPER!

well today went to kovan early in the morning(:

cause i didnt wanna go my ahma's church !

so went down alone.played k.o.f and DRUMMS(:

saw xiaoxuan!! so long never see him he become more macho sial(: lols.
then went to meet joey and her mum to go eat we ate pizza hut(:

walked to the bus stop that time saw ah huang and renyi.

so yupp went back ag to take lots of things back home.
HEAVY man!!then spended some time with JASPER( darling i love you)!
then i waited for veve to come over to ag so we talked to some of our friends and all and i went crazy and take pictures like i always do(:

i will be at the top dun worry.

hahaaas.

I FORGOT TO TAKE MY NECKLACE!!!

stupid jasper take make me forget sial.

nevermind.hope that others wont take it before i really kill them !

i'm happy today(:

i love my boyfriend we are back together again.

that smile is comming back again.

2008-09-20T22:09:00.003+08:00

SISTERS FOR LIFE(:

haish.i saw something on jasper's comment that i didnt wan to see...zzz
oh well.I DUN CARE(:
today went to ps for class.jasper called me in the middle of lesson i had to bluff the teacher i go toilet just to talk to her-_-"
so yeah we did talk.i know she was talking about wad but i didnt want to answer.
so ya she finally came straight to the point.
i gave you a second chance!
but the next time I SWEAR i wont forgive you if the same fucking thing happen again(:
so ya...
I GOT HER BACK!
after she put dwn i went back for class.class was almost over(:
after class went down to kovan meet jingping and zhiling.
hahahaas.
went to play pool again!
saw peiling (beebee) (:
then after pool went to 212 saw leeling (aiai) (:
wahahaa.i love them(:
(: smiles for everyone !
okays i am crazy.cabbed down to hougang plaza to look at stuff.
i bought a new book again to doodle(:
the last book still got ALOT of space.but that time i angry write alot of things that certain pple can't see (:
so bought a new one.
while eating saw xinhao my 6 YEARS er-zii(:
i miss him mans,it's been months since i last saw him.he has grown up(:
i am so happy(:
lols.
i love my sons and daughters(:
xinhao(:
claudia(:
elaine(:
edmund(:
kimpo(:

wahahaas.i cannot upload pictures now.cause the stupid com got problem ):
never mind.it will be up soon(:
tmr going to meet veve to go back ag report...
i wanna take things home(:
i dun need to go back liaos(:
happy happy me!

2008-09-20T11:37:00.002+08:00

haish.why is everybody going into places that they shouldn't go):
Beelin;kk>> RTC (kk i miss you cans.)
Patrick>> SBH
Patricia>> SGH
Xiaotaizi>> SBH

i will wait for you all to be out.i miss and love you all ):
takkaires inside and be good.
we will all be waiting for ur release.
haish.so fed up in life already and one by one all like that.
fabian oso...haish dun wish to say lahhs.
i see his face i scared sial...so zhong...poor thing.
nvm lahhs.

today asked justin for patrick's number(:
I MISS PATRICK LAU WENG CHOI!!
hahaas.it's been months since i really saw him.
call me soon okays(:

JASPER LIM SHAO BING!
i am still thinking about you!!
argh!
i want you back.
but why u keep beating around the bush.
come STRAIGHT to the POINT!
haish...
ytd when i saw you it really hurts me to see us going seperate ways ):
but if you ever return come back with a sincere and truthful heart.

later going for class at ps then after class go dwn kovan meet my sister JINGPING!
go play pool again i guess...(:

looking at you wearing the neckace and ring makes me haooy.but is it really true from your heart that you still love me.
it dosent looks like it.
i'm just living each day; day by day.
it hurts still but i have to be strong.

2008-09-19T23:06:00.003+08:00

went for training todays.so went to aljunid to meet cozenne(:
so damn bloody long never see her sial....
haish.
anyways went back saw AHEM!not very haooy to see her lahh somemore she went running omg she can still run!
i partner claudia hahaas.my ER-ZII!!my nu-er was oso with me(:
after running played soccer today not really in the soccer mood lahhs.
haish so STRESS about so many things.
mostly about me and jasper's thing ):
going back that time,we sat in the van and JASPER was inside too...haish.i didnt talk to her and she didnt talk to me maybe cause we dunno how to talk to each other.
even though she hinted me i want it from her sincere heart and not just frm the outside.
anyways.yeah i did see her today but was kinda shagg cause it wasn't the same as before.
but "boy" i can say i still love you it's all up to u now if you are really truthful.
i dun want you to lie again if i ever accept or you want me back.
it's hard to gain back one's trust understand.
well i gues you are sleeping or going to bed soon,sweet dreams yeah.erms abt sunday.maybe i'll go i think so(:
today recieved a letter when i went back hostel and it's from XIAOTAIZI!weikang!!
i miss korkor!korkor so cute draw me rabbit!hahas.
and patrick sends regards too(:
i love the two of you.but i love someone MORE(:
stop blogging now and give NIGEL his comment he want from me!!
(: tomorrow got keyboard class.

2008-09-19T10:03:00.002+08:00

180908
i didnt blog ytd cause the com crashed down now at mummy's house using com.
ytd went for training with ag girls.and oh my everything drop.i run abit i heh heh already.
haishh...everyday okay almost everyday got smoke.then drink oso got then now body very weak later die.wahahaas.after training went out with jingping got kovan to play pool.saw nigel calvin they all.
saw huiying(cutiepie) her stead and aiai(:
i love both of them(:
anyways.after played pool i walk with jingping awhile then went back 212 slack with aiai and cutiepie.
i'm a good girl only 2 sticks ytd(:
after that we talked about a fucking pubo!
wahahaa.looks like i am NOT the only one who HATES you.hear that.
you got us into trouble and got kim tian and darrence a new case.fucki off with that bloody mouth of yours.
we want kio u oso no point.cause ni wan bu qi.confrim if we ask u out u confirm tell laopa or call police.so for wad get ourselves into more shit cause of you!
and oh please claudia dun like you than stop pesstering her.looks like you're the dog now huhs.
desperete for LOVE??...LMAO!
okay i shall stop here about her!
......................................................................................................................................................................

today i guess i will be meeting cozenne at ag outside then later go for that training agian.sianz.i can bearly run this few days.
nevermind i wanna enjoy myself first.
somemore parents not ard till mon so come back home with smoke smell no one will care(:
ahh mummy showed me the phone bill for last month and i exceeded!
ahhh.i dun wan msg le lahh!!!!!!
zzz.
pple anything call me!!!
dun msg anymore!wahhhhhhhh...i really going crazy lahh.
wad's this i am hearing again.
YOU FAKE STEAD WITH KUAN QI CAUSE U DUN WANT ME TOUCH CHANEL??
please lahh stop wasting my bloody time can!
if i tell u i will touch both of them u oso lan lan si bo!
stop being retarded i dun care you are with who now cans.
u wan break than break liaos.then u hint me wan patch i diam diam now all this rubbish start again.
please luhh stop it before i go crazy.and when i am crazy i dun wish to do those things i dun wanna do!
hmms...zhiling in lock up....wonder why??
nvm...pple are getting more ridiculas this few days.over small tiny things worst then my situation like over a pencil case they wanna wack pple??if never touch huiying u dun wan pang sua...?please grow up.
we were all frens before.dun cause of this kind of things u wanna lose all of us.
u know us wad.though got quarrels in the end oso okays wan..
SISTERS PBT!
i miss patricia!takecare in remand yeah.
if u end up in my hostel i promise i will help you no matter wad(:
faster come out soon 3rd oct ur court date again.patrick too 1 more year to go!!
PATRICK AND PATRICIA i miss you two!! be good inside(:
waiting for you both to be out.

2008-09-18T12:27:00.002+08:00

well i deleted chanel and those weird calculations with the pple she love cause daddy said i very bad...
well...i let u off this time ayes.
i still wondering why jasper call me ytd...
for fun or really talk to me.
she didnt really explain...oh wells.
still have to continue with life even if it's painful...
haish.but "boy" i still love you that's from my heart.
u want me to wait...i will try that's all i can promise.
stop blogging first continue at night.
see ya people.
anything tag or msg me or call(:

2008-09-17T22:18:00.002+08:00

well jasper called me today.
talked for about half an hour.
well i still dunno what she wants.
but oh well.
i still love her.
but wait for 3 years you got to be kidding me.
you will be 17 and i will be 19...
abit old le bahs.
u sure you will still love me mahhs.
i really dunno.
well nth much to blog didnt go out today.
tmr gonna play pool with jingping.
yeah my best sister(:
today nigel msg me and on9 hahaas.
i hacked into the com...
parents not around till mon
HAVOK SHIO!!
hahaas.
logging off anything msg me!!

2008-09-16T21:37:00.010+08:00

why must this happen i still wanna know why?why did u have to go?

I STILL LOVE YOU!

YOU WANT ME TO WAIT WILL WAIT NO MATTER WHAT!

I SWEAR!

jasper i am willing to wait.but do u want me back??

that lies in your heart.

i really want you back.

every single day my tears will just flow down my face when i see your pic in my wallet and when i think of you.

i didnt expect you to be like that...

tell me why?tell me wad did i do wrong to lose you?

it's just 1 week and things become like that?

have you fallen in love with her??

is weizhong really real?why when pple look there's no such person.

why do you have to lie to me.why did u promise me when you know you're gonna break it.

thats wad you told me in the end u are the one.

u wanted to abscond i promise i will run with u and i did.

u promise to love me and be by my side till the end but you just left like this.

why why why??

WHY ME??

why must it me to get hurt again.

i can't move on with my life anymore.

i had too high hopes for us and in you but just like that u broke my heart but i still love you.

i want you back i really want you back!

i rather go prison than to lose you.

my hands are bleeding frm hitting everything that in my way.but i dun feel any pain the pain in my heart is killing me.

the truth might hurt me but ur lies kill me more then the truth.

wad did i do.please tell me.

i am going back on friday to give you the chance to explain please dun quarrel with me anymore.

i just want you by my side.it that so hard...

you used not to bother what pple say about us but what the sudden change now.

i have got nothing to say.

u can say sorry i dun mind but it wont heal my broken heart.

i dun want to continue with life anymore.

let me slowly fade away.

EVERYONE LEAVE ME ALONE!!!!!!!

i will only hear her explaination and things to say to me other than that i won't listen.

go away!!!!

......................................................................................................................................................................

the other half is only complete with yours

our love is so right!just look at it above.why did u have to go?

i am still writing to u even if u are gone

my heart's shattered and filled with torns.

only u can take them out.

bloody all over the book.i still love you

all this were taken in jingping's house.and when i saw jasper's comment i just couldnt stop crying.i really dunno what to do too.JASPER tell me what to do i really cannot bear to forget you.

can you forget that easy......i love you that's all i know.i am willing to wait.

2008-09-15T20:36:00.002+08:00

JASPER LIM SHAO BING I NOW TELL YOU THIS IF YOU WANNA BREAK THAN ALREADY BREAK.WHAT ELES YOU WANT FRM ME??MY BROKEN HEART IS IT.U AND CHANEL NOW HAPPY TO SEE ME LIKE THIS RIGHT!
I TELL YOU NOW I STILL LOVE YOU AND THAT WON'T CHANGE!GET THAT INTO UR FUCKING HEAD.

2008-09-15T20:01:00.002+08:00

i am very confuse now.
what is wrong with her now?
she want break with me then BREAK already.
stop hurting me!!!

yuyu:samantha,shili got something to tell you ytd what she say is to make your HEART DIE.she dun want to hurt you anymore...her father ask her wan is not she want de...after you go shili cry like siao.if you think she play with your feeling u are wrg.if she play with u feelings she wont be with u for 3 months.if you want an explaination from her then come back and look for her on sunday she will wait for you to come.if you never come that means you dun want her anymore.

geokting:cutecute(: shili ask me tell u this. the reason of breaking is her father,if she dun stop she will have to go overseas forever,this is wad shili say:why do you think i play with your feelings?if i play with your feeling i wont be with you for 3 months.i already run lo.i said those words out of anger.if you want an explaination come on sunday,let me tell you everything.i'll be waiting for you to come.if you dont that mean you have accepted someone eles.

WAD YOU WANT ME TO DO.AND NOW MEIMEI TELL ME U HUG CHANEL??
FUCK YOU UNDERSTAND!
wad eles you wanna say.u hurt me and broke me and stab me behind then now u want to explain.i dun deserve all this okays.
i am not like other girls who can forget and heal my hurts so quickly!u know my heart yet u did such a thing to me!
I HATE YOU FOR THAT!
ya i will be going back.but why should i listen to you now when in the first place you dun even wanna hear me say anything.
and people have to tell me all this.why cant you say urself to me?
YOU WANT CHANEL STEAD WITH HER SINCE SHE HAS BEEN THERE FOR YOU WHEN I AM NOT AROUND.
CHANEL KOH JIA LI NOW I FUCKING TELL YOU
I HATE YOU!
got guts then come find me urself dun need to tell laopa we treaten u cause we didnt even treaten u!dun need to treat me like a dog cause even a dog wont want you as a trainer!
__off understand.
i guailan to you??u sure bo it's u u fucking get that into ur head!
i hate you and those who only see the innocent face you got on the outside where inside is all like shit!
i admit i am not perfect at least i dun bluff myself inside and outside.both are the same not like yours.
ya now i say about u not happy right then u fucking stop telling all of them about me too.
u wanna step holy let me tell you this.
DO UNTO OTHERS WHAT YOU WANT OTHERS TO DO TO YOU!!!

Jasper lim shao bing(if it's still your name)
if you dun belive me i really got nothing to say.i am just very upset.u know my heart the best but yet you said all those hurting things to me.wad explaination is there to say.ya i still love you.but you aren't comming back to my side.ur feelings have faded away.it went to the words you had been hearing.if i were you i will shut my ears and listen to my heart and do the desires that are inside it.if i were u i will still be with my girlfriend but dun tell my dad about it.if you wanna be str8 and be with weizhong i wish you all the best.but i am still a fucking idiot waiting for you to be back by my side.but like i said you are my first and last and that i wont break.i still dare to say I LOVE YOU even though it's fucking hurting now!

i hate my life now can wad's all this things now huhs.
maybe JIREH was right.

2008-09-14T20:36:00.003+08:00

wad did i do that you have to treat me this way.
why did you break with me.without any reason.
u told pple that u stead with me to play me.very fun is it.
my heart's hurting so much.why did u become like that.
i hate myself when i hit you.
but why must you do this to me!!!
ytd was our 3rd month and today you say break.
i really hate it!!
wad did i do wrong!
and to that fucking bitch fusk off my life.i hate you alot.
even if you left me i still want you back but that will be a miricle to have you back.
thanks for those memories.
if you have a stead again please treat him or her well.

.................................................................................................................................................................

went to church today.jireh wasn't feeling to good as he was sleepy.oh well i guess he's still sleeping cause he haven't replied me yet.
you're a great guy really.
any girl would want you.even though u have ur nonsense i still love you being around.
it was never dull without you in church.
i kinda miss you.and i want to talk to u.i am so terribly upset and broken now.

A BIG THANKS TO:

jingping

meiping

weiqin

joe

jireh

and the rest who tried to cheer me up but i am still very broken.

it takes alot of time for this heart to heal.

cause i love this one the most.

2008-09-13T22:29:00.016+08:00

had i FUN DAY!!!with meiping jingping and weiqin!!
wahahaa.we play sparkles and lots of candles!!!see the pictures below and you will know.
HAPPY 3RD MONTH BABY!!
though u are not with me i love you okays.
tomorrow i am going back already so yeah!!
going back only cause of u okay nothing eles.
i had enough of fun somehow(:
i wish everyday will be like this so fun!!
today's keyboared class oso not bad luhhs.i am the youngest(:
went down to kovan play pool with jingping than go sengkang play all the weird things(:
i love them i really do(:
now we are angry with a GIRL...please stop all ur childish things lahh.
if we dun treat u as frens we wont even ask u out talk things properly.and stop being so guailan.shut ur gap in that fat mouth u have!and stop making us angry with u too.u continue like that who will like you!so what i am childish??did i say i was mature..NAH!!!i am still a teen and a kid loving it not like u everytime dress like AHMA!!!

2008-09-12T23:20:00.013+08:00

today went out kinda early cause mummy had to do something so yeah.
went to kovan walked alot man while waiting for jingping.
when she finally came we went to buy cigg then i did hair extandsion to my hair.pistures at the bottom.
anyways i had fun with jingping and meiping(:CHEERS!
we should go out more!!
me and jingping went to play pool at hub first while waiting for meiping to come.
then when she came we went to bowl to see who was there and play some games(:
I LOVE THE DRUMS!!
met huiying;peiling;ahwen;gillian;guangliang;shancai and huiying stead when we were at bowl.
but nvm luhh hi and bye that's all.
we threesom went shopping and walking all over the place.
after all that fun i came home.
now daddy's bugging me over me and jasper's picture on my phone and msn all saying me and he is still angry and all.no one ask him to look DUH!!
but nvm lahh use to it can le larhs.haishh.
i miss darling alot.i spent ALOT of money today but not as much as jingping.hahaas.
dearest sister please control your spending okays.lols
tmr is me and darling's 3rd month but we can't spend it together how sad can this be.
darling wait for me sunday i am going back(:
i am only going back cause of u and no one eles.
still kinda pissed off with people there and that bitch.she wu ji just come lorhs.and please no one really likes you everyone just act like that they are okay with u.stop being so whiny maybe pple will like u abit more.LMAO.
gonna stop here.time for friendster(:
darling ahh darling i miss you like fuck can!

pictures taken during the day out today with my fav sister and jiejie(:

credits to MEIPING AND JINGPING!i love you two!!

2008-09-11T19:33:00.002+08:00

i hate people who are so immature and rubbish luhhs.
wasted my bloody time and sms to that idiot.
and in the end of the day i really dosen't pay off being nice at all.
immature freak.
the sms are her.

me:i didnt know you change number until now that day i msg ur old number this msg.i noe me and you dun like each other and i am sorry for that kitchen thing i didnt know it was instruted to you.i admit i was angry and jealous that you were close to shili cause she's my girlfriend but think aboutwhat you sadi to claudia.u dun like pple loving me?do you think it's a fair statement and you urslef oso jealous that claudia is close to me.me and claudia are just good friends and she know i wont like her more than that and when i heard you like her i even tell her if she stead with you i will give you both my blessing.so now what u want.i think you are being very unfair and selfish!

she:ya,i dont like you.i admit i was jealous.but i did not say that i dun like pple loving you.then now what you want.

me:i dun want anything.if you didnt say than why claudia tell me that.she said that you told her that.i just want to clear thingd if you dun want to than i got nth to say to you.

she:then what's up with that attitude you are showing me now?i don't owe you a living.

me:hello i am just telling you and not showing any attitude.i think you are the one.i want to clear things up and nothing eles but you make it such a big deal.

she:you want talk we already talk what you want now?

me:like i said nth.it's you being angry not me.i am not angry at all.like i said i only apologize for the kitchen thing and nth eles.u said that thing to claudia i dunno if it's true but you should know urself best.that's all i want to say.

she:then bye.

see what's all this for??it dosent pay off really.i am not angry at all man.but what's just your problem.in this situation i said my peace.so u angry not my problem.it's the same feeling.
I DUN LIKE YOU GOING NEAR MY GIRLFRIEND and YOU DUN LIKE CLAUDIA GOING NEAR ME CAUSE YOU LIKE HER!
argh!
wake up luhh u like her i dun care cause i dun.she's only my ER-ZI.get that in ur head pu-lease!
when i want to go back ag that time all this fucked up things happen.now i dun even thing ag is a place where there is love.more like a family with alot of knives waiting to kill each other.
wad's all this for.
i miss 2006 badge.really.haish..i can't change the past but i can change the future.i am not gonna be like you that's all i know!

i miss you all BADLY:

DARLING

PATRICK

CAI

JINGPING

MEIPING

CLAUDIA

PEILING

LEELING

PATRICIA

DARIE

HUIYING

ZHILING

SHAWN

FABIAN

COZENNE

LIL GEN

GENGEN

all i can say when i am back at ag i am not the same girl you all know before.

darling maybe u will find it hard to see me back not being able to be the same person.

i am sorry.it's fate to wad is happening around.but i miss you terribly and i still love you.

heard that patrick's been good inside.takkaire boy and continue to be good alrights.i miss you lots.it's been months since i saw you.has your heart changed inside there.(:i will be waiting for ur realease and so will everyone.

2008-09-10T20:44:00.002+08:00

I AM ANGRY AND FUCKING PISSED OFF NOW!
shut up and dun talk to me!
i am not someone who u can push around.
oh please YOU?a change girl oh please look in the mirror again!
fuck u understand!

today was a great day until something happen!argh!!
@!@#!@$#@$@!%$#%!$%!$#%!$
i hate eveything now can!
really feel like giving up everything!
i head the streets with my head up or down is not ur business!
fuck off fuck off!

i dun even know if my girlfriend really miss or love me.
or maybe i am not good enough for her.
cause i dun feel anything anymore.
it just feels so lost and empty.

this is real this is me.
the real me is so LOST and EMPTY!
i just need you with me.
you're not here.you're gone.
you had moved on without me.
my head is in a mess.
i really dunno!
leave me alone to fade away.
i am not worthy of being love.

2008-09-09T21:17:00.002+08:00

i miss darling!

i miss you i miss you i miss you i miss you i miss you i miss you i miss you i miss you i miss you
i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love
i want you i want you i want you i want you i want you i want you i want you i want you i want u
i need you i need you i need you i need you i need you i need you i need you i need you i need u

must wait for me to be back okays.
everyday i got a feeling that u forgotten about me.
tell me you havent.
i really really really miss you alot.
you're in my dreams you're in my mind.
haish i really dunno lah.
i am dying each day without u...are you feeling the same way??
i love you baby.
4 more days to 3 MONTHS!!

2008-09-09T21:05:00.002+08:00

recently i had been thinking about which song that fits me.
i guess i found it(:
it might be fate that now i have to be at home not being able to go back to ag.
i loved that place but i love the outside world too.
this song lyrics are the lyrics to my blog song.
hahaas.
it's meaningful though.
those who know the real me on the insdie will know why i chose this song.
everything on the outside are just lies.
where eles the inside is different and when i blog is my true inner self.

Always been the kind of girl that hid my face
So afraid to tell the world of what I've got to say
But I have this dream right inside of meI
'm gonna let it show, i'ts time
To let you know, to let you know
This is real, this is me
I'm exactly where im supposed to be now
Let the light shine on me
Now i found, who I am
Theres no way to hold it in
No more hiding who I wanna be
This is me

Do you know what its like to feel so in the dark
To dream about a life, where you're the shining star
Even though it seems
That gets to far away
I've got to believe in myself, its the only way

This is real, this is me
I'm exactly where im supposed to be now
Let the light shine one me
Now I found, who I am
Theres no way to hold it in
No more hiding who I wanna be
This is me

You're the voice I hear inside my head
The reason that I'm singing
I need to find you, I gotta find you
You're the missing piece I need the song inside on me
I need to find you

gotta find you
This is real, this is me
I'm exactly where im supposed to be now
Let the light shine on me
Now I found, who I am
Theres no way to hold it in
No more hiding who I wanna be

This is me
This is me
Yeah
You're the missing piece I need the song inside on me
Youre the voice I hear inside my head
The reason that I'm singing

Now I've found
Who I am
Theres no way to hold it in
No more hiding who I wanna be
This is me

2008-09-08T21:27:00.017+08:00

baby i miss euu so much...
i have been writing about u every single day.
i love you and miss euu more each day.
i feel like dying not being able to see you!!
argh!just kill me lahh.
the pictures are what's in the book!
i love you darling.
wait for me!

2008-09-07T23:22:00.015+08:00

i had fun today some how(:

JIREH caught my eye today hahaas.

here are some pics of the day.

i miss darling badly.

haish papa choo dun let me go back.

darling wait for me!

i love you.

2008-09-06T22:20:00.027+08:00

i am just being very retarded and petatic.

snap shot of then smoking outside.

sisters till the end
reflection.beebee(:

smoke it baby.

night life is sure fun

pig face

acting cute and being cute(:

jingping(:

peiling and xiaosam(:

huiying and xiaosam(:

hi to the night!!

i love her(:

huiying(:

crazy people(:

lighting it up(:

my little joyment(:

peiling(:

being adorable(:

the pictures will do the talking for the day.

well i am in extanded homeleave now.i sure do miss darling alot!those in ag who read my blog tell her i miss her alrights.haishh

i wanna go back!

everything i had sacrificed just for her.she took my life and everything.and i didnt regret being with her.

though we have to part for this period of time the heart will still go on yeah.

i'll always be there inside of you.

the rings on our fingers are th commitments we made to each other.

though we had a fucking rough time this week due to SOMEONE...i hope that wont happen again.

and to that someone and know who you are....

me and jasper's problem i dun need you to care so much.who are you to us.u are a NOBODY can!get that fact into ur head.u like claudia is none of my business.u jealous that she is close to me that's not my problem.if ur not happy about it then up to you.i'm not gonna play whining games with you.grow up.so what i am sensitive is just cause i dun want to loose my boyfriend to a person like you before u like or even love someone make sure the person likes u too.if not move on luhh!!

stop being a DESPERTE soul hunting around for love.

poof...i'm done.

gotta sllep tmr got pool tornament(:

wish me and jingping all the best!

JASPER I MISS YOU!!!

wait for me to be back.i love you!

2008-08-31T17:10:00.002+08:00

i miss DARLING!

going back later already!

can't wait to see darling!!

i love you.i want you NOW!

this few days cannot sleep you not around with me.

i miss your SMELL!i miss your HUGS and those KISSES(:

i can't imagine me without u man!

i think i rather DIE if u leave me one day!!

but u had promise to be there for me till the end!!

wahahaas!

2008-08-31T07:59:00.002+08:00

i just woke up): and i am still tired.
but gotta walk to daddy's house.
yeah i'm lazy but what to do.yawn!!or maybe not...my knee seriously need to be cut off!
i miss darling):
sadsadsad.now using friendster and blogging.my blog i changed the skin again.
so happy.it might be plain but nevermind.
everyweek there will be a new skin if i am free.
hahaas.
patricia is back for good.yippy!gotta meet up with her real soon yeah!
but sadly patrick hasnt got his homeleave yet.
takkaire in there dear boy.i miss you though we are just friends now.thanks for those wonderful memories that will never be forgotten(:
i might be having my extanded homeleave soon.haish.wonder what's gonna happen to darling.i'm so worried about her if i'm going back home.dun wish to see her so upset due to me not being there for her 24/7...but i oso cannot bear to leave them lahhs.
been there for so long and so many friends it will be hard.
but i'm oso staying there mainly cause of darling and the rest will be my crown of glory.my percussions and running.though running kills my legs nowadays but i perservere on!
yeah that's the spirit!i wanna go krabi soon!!!really really soon!!!
can't wait to go with baby can!!!somemore she's my partner we gotta look after each other!
wahahaas.darling you are under my control!LMAO!i'm just joking luhhs.
suddenly dunno why so high hahaas.okays.i shall stop her and continue later.
later gonna go church so will be back in the afternoon to blog(:
btw TAGS have been replied so those who tag me check out my tag box for replies(:

2008-08-30T21:11:00.007+08:00

I LOVE DARLING!

okay.i shall blog first before i go for my bath!!

hhehhs.

today went running at macrichie!!DAMN TIRED cans,my leg is really killing me!

darling oso very tired ayes.

but YEAH!!you made it till the end slow and steady(:

no joke okays people.we ran 9.6km today under the hot sun.phew!

anyways.i argue with her abit today lah.

wanted to pei her until 4 to 5 plus then go out then she went out with her dad first and not telling me.FUCK!!

then when i went out i had to text her first before she did.what is this man!

but never mind i'm not angry anymore.

ytd i almost break with her.angry angry angry!!!whole day we quarrel fight...blablabla...

smashed my knee and both fist againest the wall now everything swollen.

but hack care lahh.

so went back home to bewith mummy awhile then i went down to kovan to play pool with jingping.today not in good form.hahas.

then met bother fabian.cibai so kaobei still say me oso.but nvm lah everytime we too very kaobei so we click well.

wahahaas.

came back home early today.zzz...now bored.wondering how darling is at ag now.tmr if i can

go back early then i go back lor.

tmr still must go church...

sian...i miss darling ahhhh....crazy le lah!!my knee is killing me!

some pictures that were taken some time ago.forgot to upload:D

2008-08-28T13:04:00.002+08:00

wahhhhh...
damn pek cek can!!in hostel now friendster cannot use!!
FUCK!!!!
darling went for windsurfing!!now all alne again.haish...but nevermind!!
it's okays.
use to it liaos.i miss jingping and cai they all.
zzz...
why like that wan!!!
nvm i lazy to blog.
takkaires people(:

2008-08-24T17:47:00.005+08:00

back frm church;and walk walk with parents.hahaas.

well today i'm going back early again cause of darling again as usual(:

darling i am comming back!!!

had a normal day today but kinda shagg lah for those who know what happened.not gonna say it out.!!

but i met up with my cousin RICKY!!

miss ya cous and thanks for everything.

let some pics do the talking about today.

2008-08-23T22:43:00.002+08:00

my boyfriend's name is

JASPER ZERO GERALD LIM SHAO BING
and
my name is

SAMANTHA YUKI YEO XIAN HUI

XD
i love darling.
i fucking miss her alot now.
sweet dreams boy(:
see you tmr back in hostel.

2008-08-23T22:23:00.003+08:00

JASPER ZERO GERALD LIM SHAO BING I LOVE YOU

yawn!

mummy just came back yeah!

well went to kovan hub to meet jingping and her friend.

then cai was working then vicki selena gillian and her fren and peiling was there.after awhile zhiling came down oso(:

slacked at hub.was damn moody.darling called me alot of times we quarreled as usual.but we were okay again.i dunno why everytime like that maybe cause we really miss each other damn much.

haishh.i cannot take it lorh.i fucking miss her now can!!i bet she in her room now havoking with meimei they all.

tmr i will be back early i try yarhs.

darling baby misses you damn lot): sorry i am not with you.but i love you so damn much.

but seriously i dun like talk to dar on the phone i prefer i have her infront of me talking to me.hahas.i miss her presence around.

confirm cannot sleep tonight again lorh.

i want darling to hug me to sleep i miss her hugging me so tightly and never wanting to let go of me.i miss ur kisses too...

haiishhh...ayyyyyyyyyyeeesss!!!!!

i want her so badly!!

yeah today bought ear rings and my ring again!!the same ring!!

happy happy(:

i miss darling.and i am gonna say it again and again!!!

i miss darling i miss darling i miss darling i miss darling ):
gonna put her pic at the top!!!!

2008-08-23T15:42:00.002+08:00

okays just came back home from ag.cutecute's uncle send me to serangoon station cause it was raining heavily!!and i was already pissed off.haish.
hello BOYFRIEND!
i am not angry or wad okay i am but not as much.it's like you finally can go out and have time out but u rather be with ur dad.okay i am not saying you cannot be with ur dad he's more important then me but it's like i always give in to you and when i go out people will be like where's your stead and i will be like stuck in hostel cannot come out.and when i see people with their stead i envy them can.
in hostel so many boundaries cannot do anything with you...haish...never mind i dun care anymore.do what you want.i just want you to know how i feel that's all and to be more understanding :(

now i dunno wanna go out anot i seriously very lazy somemore raining.but i wanna go out at the same time do some stuff.zzz...

no mood no mood no mood......
to be continued at night.

2008-08-17T17:11:00.009+08:00

today went to church and all.then came back home.
3 plus went dwn to kovan to cut hair and bye bleach to dye my hair and now at home rotting.not surpose to use the com so long but hack care la...
at first wanted to go back ag early to be with darling but somehow plans change.

since she was so angry with me ytd just cause i had ciggrette in my bag and i am going home she give me that fucked up attitude.but oh well nvm.

darling all i can say i really miss you.i'm bored so let's see some pics.